August Burns Red Guitarist Drops Mind Blowing Revelation That Personal Growth Starts With Yourself
I just spilled my beer all over my black metal t-shirt because I was so shocked to hear that August…
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DNA Proves Utah Man Not A Murderer After Only 30 Years
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a case that’s just mind-boggling. A Utah judge has ordered a 71-year-old…
FBI Successfully Exposed as Not Entirely Incompetent
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the FBI, yes, the Federal Bureau of Investigation,…
Rick Nielsen Selling Guitars To Pay For Cheap Trick’s Retirement Home
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some seriously awesome news? 🤯 Rick Nielsen, the legendary guitarist of Cheap Trick,…
Trump Claims Grocery Prices Have Miraculously Plummeted, Again
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is at it again, trying to convince us…
Trump Denies Discussing Arms Sale to China, Totally Not Lying
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump said Monday that he did not discuss the…
Alito Steps Aside From Climate Case Due To Obvious Conflict
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito recusing himself from a major climate change-related…
When You Play Five Finger Death Punch at 7 AM 💀
Just wanted to play some Five Finger Death Punch. My neighbor had other plans. 💀 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy,…
Trump’s Second Term: Because One Trainwreck Wasn’t Enough Apparently
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration has been running taxpayer-funded ads that look suspiciously…
McDonald’s Pokésales bonanza rebooted for November cash grab
Pokemon fans, rejoice! McDonald’s is throwing you a bone, or rather, a Happy Meal box shaped like Pikachu. Because what’s…