Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)
Oh, sweet gamers, prepare yourselves for the most thrilling, groundbreaking, and totally-not-derivative experience of the decade! Cronos: The New Dawn,…
Tag: PlayStation 5
Upcoming Horror Game I Hate This Place: More Like I Hate This Game, Am I Right
Oh, great, another survival horror game! 🙄 As if we needed more jump scares and poorly optimized gameplay. Broken Mirror…
Frostpunk 2: Now on Consoles, So Your Couch Can Judge Your Terrible City Planning This September
So, the perpetually freezing faction simulator, Frostpunk 2, is FINALLY crawling its way to consoles. Prepare to warm your thumbs…
Painkiller Preview: Slaying Demons and Friendships
If you’d asked me about *Painkiller* a hot minute ago, I’d have been like, “Pain-what-now?” 🤷♂️ But then, Digital Foundry…
DualSense Gets Schizophrenic: Now Juggles PS5, PC, and Your Toaster
Oh boy, Sony has graced us with another earth-shattering, life-altering, paradigm-shifting PS5 update! 🙄 Prepare yourselves, peasants, because the DualSense…
Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…
Atelier Ryza’s Secret Trilogy Deluxe Pack: Prepare to Be Underwhelmed Live!
Oh, sweet Celestia, did you hear? KOEI TECMO and Gust, those benevolent overlords of the Atelier universe, decided to grace…
OMG! Yōtei’s Ghostly Shenanigans: A State of Play So Bad It’s Actually Happening on July 10 (Prepare to Cringe)
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🥳 Sucker Punch Productions, the geniuses behind that *totally* original samurai game, are gracing…
Helldivers 2 Finally Crawls to Xbox (With Crossplay, No One Cares) This August
Ah, yes, Helldivers 2, the game that made everyone question their life choices while simultaneously screaming “FOR SUPER EARTH!” is…
Out of Words: A Silent Comedy About How We’re All Just Mimes Trapped in a Chatroom
Walking into Summer Game Fest 2025, I expected the usual: overpriced snacks 🍿, cringe-worthy presentations, and trailers that promise the…