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Tag: prison

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Welcome to 5 Things PM! Here’s your nightly dose of real news, served with a side of conservative truth and…

Local Ohio Man Adds ‘Death Threats’ to His Resume, Because Why Not in Today’s Political Circus?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Local Ohio Man Adds ‘Death Threats’ to His Resume, Because Why Not in Today’s Political Circus?

Big ElephantFebruary 7, 2026February 7, 2026

Deep State Stooge Arrested for Threatening America’s Greatest Vice President Yet another unhinged leftist has been caught plotting against one…

5 things to know for Feb. 4: Shutdown ends, Assassination attempt, Jill Biden’s ex-husband, Nuclear talks, Bitcoin – and you thought your ex was bad!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 4: Shutdown ends, Assassination attempt, Jill Biden’s ex-husband, Nuclear talks, Bitcoin – and you thought your ex was bad!

Big ElephantFebruary 4, 2026February 4, 2026

SHUTDOWN ENDS, BUT DEMS STILL WHINING ABOUT ICE! President Trump just signed the big spending bill to end the three-day…

“DNA Expert Takes the Stand as Convicted Killer of Laken Riley Tries to Wiggle Out of His Fate”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“DNA Expert Takes the Stand as Convicted Killer of Laken Riley Tries to Wiggle Out of His Fate”

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Desperate Defense Tries DNA Houdini Act in Laken Riley Murder Case Jose Ibarra’s legal team is pulling out all the…

Luigi Mangione dodges lethal injection, judge says “nah fam, let’s not”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Luigi Mangione dodges lethal injection, judge says “nah fam, let’s not”

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Yet Another Win for Woke Lunacy: Mangione Won’t Face Death Penalty for Murdering CEO Oh, look, folks! Another shining example…

Treasury Clutches Pearls, Fires $21M ‘Oopsie Whoopsie’ Cannon at Booz Allen Over Trump’s Magically Appearing Tax Returns
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Treasury Clutches Pearls, Fires $21M ‘Oopsie Whoopsie’ Cannon at Booz Allen Over Trump’s Magically Appearing Tax Returns

Big ElephantJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

Deep State Consulting Firm Finally Gets BUSTED After Plotting Greatest Tax Data Heist Against Patriot Trump! MAGA Justice Unleashed! Holy…

Legendary Extreme Metal Drummer NICK BARKER: ‘I Hope To Get A New Kidney Sometime Later This Year, And Maybe A New Cymbal’
Breaking, Music News

Legendary Extreme Metal Drummer NICK BARKER: ‘I Hope To Get A New Kidney Sometime Later This Year, And Maybe A New Cymbal’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 24, 2026January 24, 2026

Brace yourselves, drumming degenerates, because the metal beat-keeper himself, Nick Barker, is currently locked in a death match with his…

Brendan Banfield Expected to Testify in His Own Defense Because the Defense Rested and the Jury Looked Bored
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brendan Banfield Expected to Testify in His Own Defense Because the Defense Rested and the Jury Looked Bored

Big ElephantJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

FAIRFAX, VA – In a courtroom drama straight out of a Netflix series produced by a DEI committee, the trial…

MEGADETH Drops ‘Puppet Parade’ and Proves They Still Have Strings Attached to the 80s
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Drops ‘Puppet Parade’ and Proves They Still Have Strings Attached to the 80s

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE THRASH GODS! 🚨 Dave Mustaine Has Officially Announced MEGADETH’s Final Album, and Yes, It Includes…

The Best New TV Shows on Streaming This Weekend (That Will Probably Suck But Here We Are)
Breaking, Movie News

The Best New TV Shows on Streaming This Weekend (That Will Probably Suck But Here We Are)

FinnJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Your Couch Just Got a Promotion! 🍿 New Shows Are Here to Haunt Your Binge-Watching Soul (and Your…

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  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on given date

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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