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Tag: Ratings

Analysis: Every Election is a Chance to Ruin Everything, Apparently
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Every Election is a Chance to Ruin Everything, Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their leftist drivel, I see. “Pendulum of power swinging”? More like the Deep State trying to…

BBC Ghosting Ozzy: Doc Vanishes into Thin Air
Breaking, Music News

BBC Ghosting Ozzy: Doc Vanishes into Thin Air

Chord F. DiscordAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

So, apparently, some earth-shattering, life-altering, Pulitzer-deserving piece of cinematic gold 🏆 titled “Ozzy Osbourne: Coming Home” was supposed to grace…

Brighty the Burro’s Butty Gets Crispy, Future Remains a Hairy Situation
Elephant Reads CNN

Brighty the Burro’s Butty Gets Crispy, Future Remains a Hairy Situation

Big ElephantAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or, rather, the burro-manity! Our beloved Brighty the Burro, a symbol of the Grand Canyon, fell victim…

CNN Thinks People Who Voted For Trump Might Be, Like, *Gasp* Maybe Possibly Thinking They Dun Goofed
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks People Who Voted For Trump Might Be, Like, *Gasp* Maybe Possibly Thinking They Dun Goofed

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media to undermine our glorious President Trump! This CNN article is just…

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew
Elephant Reads CNN

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, great, another puff piece on women’s boxing, brought to you by the same folks who think men can get…

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?
Elephant Reads CNN

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Folks, you won’t believe the latest from the Fake News Network! It seems that poor, poor Stephen Colbert is losing…

CNN: Trump and Bibi’s Excellent Iranian Adventure: The Sequel
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump and Bibi’s Excellent Iranian Adventure: The Sequel

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, CNN, always spinning tales of “stabilization” after President Trump’s *unprecedented* smackdown of Iran. Unprecedented because no other President had…

Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Trump Calls Elon “Off the Rails,” Nobody Surprised
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Trump Calls Elon “Off the Rails,” Nobody Surprised

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, the liberal lunacy! Elon Musk, once a beacon of innovation, has apparently succumbed…

Neil Druckmann Abandons Ship, Leaves ‘The Last of Us’ Fans to Drown in Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

Neil Druckmann Abandons Ship, Leaves ‘The Last of Us’ Fans to Drown in Disappointment

FinnJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh noes! 😱 Neil Druckmann, the supposed “genius” behind The Last of Us (you know, that zombie show everyone pretends…

MindsEye Dev to Fire Over 100 Staff After Launching a Dud, Apparently
Breaking, Games News

MindsEye Dev to Fire Over 100 Staff After Launching a Dud, Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, honey, did you hear? MindsEye, the game so bad it makes E.T. for the Atari look like Game of…

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