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Tag: Ratings

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes at CNN are at it again, clutching their pearls because our glorious President Trump dared to…

Barrett and Kavanaugh tell conservatives to get off their lazy asses and defend their ‘principles’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Barrett and Kavanaugh tell conservatives to get off their lazy asses and defend their ‘principles’

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Looks like Justices Barrett and Kavanaugh are telling conservatives to toughen up and stand their ground against the liberal onslaught.…

Lukoil Dumps Foreign Junk on Some Guy Named Gunvor, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Lukoil Dumps Foreign Junk on Some Guy Named Gunvor, LOL

Big ElephantOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

Oh, the irony! Lukoil, that bastion of Russian energy, is selling off its foreign assets after President Trump’s sanctions hit…

GOP Rep. Giménez Channels Inner Yoda, Declares ‘Nobody Above Law, Hmm?’
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Rep. Giménez Channels Inner Yoda, Declares ‘Nobody Above Law, Hmm?’

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another deep-state drama! This time, CNN is hyperventilating because someone, somewhere, is thinking about maybe indicting John Bolton.…

Assassin’s Creed Shadows Leaks: Coming to Your Grandma’s Switch 2 This Christmas, Maybe
Breaking, Games News

Assassin’s Creed Shadows Leaks: Coming to Your Grandma’s Switch 2 This Christmas, Maybe

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

OMG! 🚨HOLD👏UP👏GAMERS!🚨 You thought Ubisoft was actually gonna be upfront about Assassin’s Creed Shadows on the Nintendo Switch 2? 😂Bless…

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Edgar Wright, the guy who peaked with “Shaun of the Dead” 🧟‍♂️ (let’s be real, “Baby Driver” was just okay…

Trump’s Tariffs: Crypto Market Dumps $19B Like a Bad Date’s Text
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Tariffs: Crypto Market Dumps $19B Like a Bad Date’s Text

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, threatens China with a 100% tariff, and suddenly the crypto world…

Ozzy’s Back! (Again!) For the 9,876th “Farewell” Tour: Sharon & Ozzy Milk It Dry
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Back! (Again!) For the 9,876th “Farewell” Tour: Sharon & Ozzy Milk It Dry

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

The official trailer for “Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne: Coming Home” can be seen below. Like, if you’re REALLY bored. 😴…

Vance Did WHAT Now? CNN Tries to Fact-Check a Joke (Spoiler: They Fail Hilariously)
Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Did WHAT Now? CNN Tries to Fact-Check a Joke (Spoiler: They Fail Hilariously)

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Oh, the tangled web the liberal media weaves! Apparently, Vice President Vance is now under fire for daring to suggest…

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

OMG! Ozzy Osbourne, that decrepit geezer who somehow managed to make a career out of mumbling and biting bats🦇, apparently…

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