Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Ratings

CNN Thinks People Who Voted For Trump Might Be, Like, *Gasp* Maybe Possibly Thinking They Dun Goofed
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks People Who Voted For Trump Might Be, Like, *Gasp* Maybe Possibly Thinking They Dun Goofed

Big ElephantAugust 7, 2025August 7, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media to undermine our glorious President Trump! This CNN article is just…

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew
Elephant Reads CNN

Katie Taylor’s post-Serrano reflections: Women’s boxing suddenly exists, who knew

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Oh, great, another puff piece on women’s boxing, brought to you by the same folks who think men can get…

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?
Elephant Reads CNN

Colbert’s “Late Show” Debut: Will He Bite the Hand That Pays Him (Literally)?

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Folks, you won’t believe the latest from the Fake News Network! It seems that poor, poor Stephen Colbert is losing…

CNN: Trump and Bibi’s Excellent Iranian Adventure: The Sequel
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump and Bibi’s Excellent Iranian Adventure: The Sequel

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, CNN, always spinning tales of “stabilization” after President Trump’s *unprecedented* smackdown of Iran. Unprecedented because no other President had…

Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Trump Calls Elon “Off the Rails,” Nobody Surprised
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Stock Goes Down the Toilet After Trump Calls Elon “Off the Rails,” Nobody Surprised

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or should I say, the liberal lunacy! Elon Musk, once a beacon of innovation, has apparently succumbed…

Neil Druckmann Abandons Ship, Leaves ‘The Last of Us’ Fans to Drown in Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

Neil Druckmann Abandons Ship, Leaves ‘The Last of Us’ Fans to Drown in Disappointment

FinnJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh noes! 😱 Neil Druckmann, the supposed “genius” behind The Last of Us (you know, that zombie show everyone pretends…

MindsEye Dev to Fire Over 100 Staff After Launching a Dud, Apparently
Breaking, Games News

MindsEye Dev to Fire Over 100 Staff After Launching a Dud, Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, honey, did you hear? MindsEye, the game so bad it makes E.T. for the Atari look like Game of…

“The Waterfront”: More Like “The Waste-of-Time-front”
Breaking, Movie News

“The Waterfront”: More Like “The Waste-of-Time-front”

FinnJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

The Waterfront’ gets a solid 5.5 out of 10 stars, which is basically the participation trophy of TV ratings. 🏆…

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Actually Made Money, Shocker
Breaking, Movie News

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Actually Made Money, Shocker

FinnJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, look, another soulless live-action remake nobody asked for! 🙄 Yes, friends, ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ is back, and…

MindsEye Launch: More Like MindsBlinded, Sony’s Handing Out Apologies (and Refunds), and Devs Are “Working On It” LOL
Breaking, Games News

MindsEye Launch: More Like MindsBlinded, Sony’s Handing Out Apologies (and Refunds), and Devs Are “Working On It” LOL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

MindsEye, the game so bad it makes Cyberpunk 2077 look like a masterpiece, continues its reign of terror. 🎭 After…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 14 15 16 Next

Latest posts

  • Foo Fighters Rock Hollywood Bowl with LA Philharmonic
  • Dolly Parton Gets Digital With Avatar Concerts Coming Soon
  • Meg White Mixup Daily Mail Trails Wrong Woman
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social from August 23 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump shares message on Truth Social platform today

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.