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Tucson Desert Yields Human Remains Possibly Linked To Nancy Guthrie Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tucson Desert Yields Human Remains Possibly Linked To Nancy Guthrie Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The story of Nancy Guthrie, the 84-year-old mother of Savannah Guthrie,…

Sweet Guitarist Tired Of Being Yelled At By Old Dude Andy Scott
Breaking, Music News

Sweet Guitarist Tired Of Being Yelled At By Old Dude Andy Scott

Chord F. DiscordAugust 23, 2026August 23, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. THE SWEET, the…

Mississippi Woman’s Tree Mishap Ends In Predictably Terrible Way
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mississippi Woman’s Tree Mishap Ends In Predictably Terrible Way

Big ElephantAugust 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Mississippi, and I have to say, this one’s…

White House Ballroom Construction Gets Reprieve Because Priorities
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Ballroom Construction Gets Reprieve Because Priorities

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2026

The Supreme Court has given President Donald Trump the green light to continue working on a massive new ballroom at…

Bruce Dickinson drops obligatory music video to remind you he existed before Iron Maiden
Breaking, Music News

Bruce Dickinson drops obligatory music video to remind you he existed before Iron Maiden

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2026August 21, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤩 IRON MAIDEN’s Bruce Dickinson just dropped a new video…

Jennings Suddenly Front Runner For Soul Crushing Press Secretary Job
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jennings Suddenly Front Runner For Soul Crushing Press Secretary Job

Big ElephantAugust 20, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the potential new White House press secretary, and let me tell you,…

US Air Force Flight Abortively Returns Due to Space Debris Concerns
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Air Force Flight Abortively Returns Due to Space Debris Concerns

Big ElephantAugust 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A US Air Force flight bound for Antarctica had to turn…

Trump Administration Gets to Decide Who Stays and Who Goes Home
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Administration Gets to Decide Who Stays and Who Goes Home

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest court ruling that’s got everyone in a twist. A federal…

Meta Returns to Courtroom for Another Thrilling Episode of Social Media
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Meta Returns to Courtroom for Another Thrilling Episode of Social Media

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A trial is underway in Oakland, and it’s a big deal.…

Tupac’s Alleged Killer Finally Gets Day in Court After Ages
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tupac’s Alleged Killer Finally Gets Day in Court After Ages

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the legendary Tupac Shakur, and I have to say, this guy’s life was…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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