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Tag: RIP

Liberal Wilmington descends into chaos, 2 shot, what a shock
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Wilmington descends into chaos, 2 shot, what a shock

Big ElephantJune 17, 2026June 17, 2026

Oh, joy, oh rapture, it’s 2026 and our beloved President Donald Trump is still making America great again, despite the…

Events

Get Ready for Another Overpriced Wellness Fad Inner Wisdom Labyrinth Coming to Totally Not Rip You Off This Summer

Chuck B. BallsyMay 29, 2026

Get ready for a wild 90-minute Zoom ride 🌞 to find your inner self on Summer Solstice 2026 📆 Chuck…

X-Men 97 Season 2 Trailer Finally Arrives to Save Us from the Crushing Despair of Having to Watch Anything Else
Breaking, Movie News

X-Men 97 Season 2 Trailer Finally Arrives to Save Us from the Crushing Despair of Having to Watch Anything Else

FinnMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Get ready for the most epic season of X-Men ’97 yet, folks! 🚨💥 This summer, the Marvel Animation team is…

Sony Generously Decides to Stop Being Cheap and Pays Out a Whopping $7.8 Million to People They Totally Didn’t Rip Off
Breaking News: Sony Gets Sued and Loses (Again) 🚀👊
Breaking, Games News

Sony Generously Decides to Stop Being Cheap and Pays Out a Whopping $7.8 Million to People They Totally Didn’t Rip Off

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Sony Interactive Entertainment has been slapped with a $7.85 million bill to refund select…

Square Enix Because Clearly What The World Needed Was More Overpriced Coffee And Final Fantasy Merch To Go With Their Existential Crisis
Breaking, Games News

Square Enix Because Clearly What The World Needed Was More Overpriced Coffee And Final Fantasy Merch To Go With Their Existential Crisis

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 24, 2026April 24, 2026

Okay, okay, gamers, calm down! We know you’re all super excited about the latest news from Square Enix, but let’s…

Oh Joy Another Beloved Childhood Classic Is About to Be Ruined by a Soulless Live-Action Remake of FernGully Because What the World Really Needed Was a Reboot of a Movie About a Fairy and a Human Who Fall in Love in the Rainforest
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Beloved Childhood Classic Is About to Be Ruined by a Soulless Live-Action Remake of FernGully Because What the World Really Needed Was a Reboot of a Movie About a Fairy and a Human Who Fall in Love in the Rainforest

FinnApril 17, 2026April 17, 2026

Breaking news: The Amazon rainforest might not be the last one after all, because Amazon MGM is remaking FernGully: The…

Titanic 2.0: Because One Sinking Boat Cruise Wasnt Enough Now Introducing the Selena Sunset Disaster Waiting to Happen Boat Cruise
Events

Titanic 2.0: Because One Sinking Boat Cruise Wasnt Enough Now Introducing the Selena Sunset Disaster Waiting to Happen Boat Cruise

Chuck B. BallsyApril 12, 2026

RIP to the best party ever 😂 THE SELENA SUNSET. BOAT CRUISE 🚣‍♀️🌅 has sadly ended 🎉, but you can…

The Last of Us Online Got Cancelled Faster Than My Social Life After Playing The Last of Us
The Last of Us Online: A Cautionary Tale of Gaming's Fake News and Broken Dreams 📰👀
Breaking, Games News

The Last of Us Online Got Cancelled Faster Than My Social Life After Playing The Last of Us

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

So, you thought you knew the whole story behind the cancellation of The Last of Us Online? 🤔 Think again,…

The launch of the Artemis rocket was shot from a flying aircraft
Videos

The launch of the Artemis rocket was shot from a flying aircraft

Chuck B. BallsyApril 1, 2026

RIP to everyone who sat on the left side of the plane Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in…

RIP Ross The Boss 😢 Manowar Legend Dead at 72
Videos

RIP Ross The Boss 😢 Manowar Legend Dead at 72

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 27, 2026

Ross “The Boss” Friedman — legendary guitarist of Manowar and The Dictators — has passed away. A true pioneer of…

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Latest posts

  • Bill Gates Invests In New Sex Trafficking Startup
  • Prominent Muslim Leader Resigns
  • Democrat Candidate For Michigan District 32 Sanitation Board Promises To Free Palestine
  • Devil May Cry Remake Because The Original Wasn’t Already Perfect And Didn’t Deserve To Be Left Alone
  • OZZY OSBOURNE’s Super Gross Throne That He Probably Peed On A Few Times To Be Glorified At Birmingham Museum & Art Gallery Like It’s A Real Historical Artifact Or Something

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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