KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…
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From Cubicle Peasant to Startup Warlord: 2026 Is Your Year to Ditch Taxes and Bosses
🚨 BREAKING: Local Guy Who Quit His Job in 2019 Wants to Teach You How to Do the Same (But…
Robert Smith Announces He’ll ‘Cure’ Teenage Cancer Trust Gigs Like Some Kind of Goth Messiah (Again)
Robert Smith Summons the Ghosts of Alternative Rock Past for Teenage Cancer Trust Extravaganza – Because Apparently, the ’90s Never…
CRADLE OF FILTH Drags Themselves Out of the Crypt for Yet Another Tour Because Apparently We Still Haven’t Suffered Enough With SUFFOCATION, GHOST BATH, and CULTUS BLACK in Tow
🎸🔥 BREAKING: CRADLE OF FILTH TO EMBARK ON U.S. TOUR, LOCAL VAMPIRES AND GOTH TEENS REJOICE (PARENTS, HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS)…
Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update
While a real 7.6 magnitude earthquake shook Japan’s northeastern coast, CNN rushed in with its own aftershock: a hysterical tremor…
Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)
So, Keanu Reeves, bless his heart, decided that saving the world as John Wick wasn’t enough. Now he’s back with…
Black Christmas (1974) or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Coat Hanger
**OMG! 😱 Friday, December 5th, 2025, 7:30 PM (EDT).** Watch Black Christmas (1974) with some dudes from Don’t Open This…
Fall Comedy Harvest: Get Ready to Fake Laugh with Strangers
**OMG! 😱 SECOM Resource Center, 1545 Buchanan Ave SW, Grand Rapids, is the place to be on November 29th! Doors…
Behemoth, Dimmu Borgir, and Dark Funeral: The “We’re Still Alive?” Tour – October 2026
OMG! 😱 Get ready to sell your souls (again)! BEHEMOTH and DIMMU BORGIR, the ultimate poser bands of extreme metal,…
Saint Etienne Finally Bother to Say Goodbye (Probably) to UK and Ireland
So, Saint Etienne, those indie-pop relics, are finally crawling out of whatever retirement home they’ve been festering in to announce…