Tesla’s Big Day: Shareholders Get Their Turn to Yell at Elon
Oh, the horror! Tesla, that beacon of American ingenuity, has been forced by a cabal of DEMOCRATIC OFFICIALS to hold…
Tag: Sales
McDonald’s Snack Wrap: Proof the McRib Isn’t the Only Thing They Torture Us With
McDonald’s is bringing back the Snack Wrap, probably because their woke menu options are failing! You know, the ones that…
70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise
70000 Tons Of Metal, or as I like to call it, “70000 Tons of Disappointment,” has bravely announced a change…
Matt Cameron FINALLY Escapes Pearl Jam After Torturous 27-Year Sentence
Breaking News! 🚨 Matt Cameron, the guy who hits things in PEARL JAM, has finally realized he’s been playing the…
Scorpions Biopic ‘Wind Of Change’: Prepare to be blown away (by boredom)
OMG! 😱 A trailer just dropped for Wind Of Change, the Scorpions biopic, filmed at Warner Bros. Studios Leavesden in…
Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham
Metal Pilgrim has uploaded a full video tour of the the Ozzy Osbourne “Working Class Hero” exhibition, which opened in…
Cybertruck: More Like Cyber-TRUCKED, amirite
Oh, the humanity! CNN is reporting that the Cybertruck, that beacon of American innovation, is somehow a “flop.” Can you…
GHOST’s Tobias Forge Builds Metal Church: Prepare for ‘Skeletour’ of Utter Darkness and Questionable Architecture
GHOST, the *totally* underground Swedish rock band (yeah, right), is gracing the U.S. with its presence on the “Skeletour” world…
Nintendo Accidentally Reveals Switch 2 Sales Projections, Claims It Was Just a Typo, LOL
Oh, the Nintendo Switch 2, that little plastic box of dreams (and crushing debt for your parents). Apparently, it was…