OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…
Tag: Sales
CNN’s Oct 29 Extravaganza: Melissa’s Tantrums, Asia’s Adventures, Trump’s Encore, Mideast Mayhem, and Boating Bloopers
Every pathetic, virtue-signaling air traffic controller in the US received a whopping zero-dollar paystub this week. Cry me a river!…
Target decides to play Hunger Games with its employees, May the Odds be ever in your favor
Target, the woke retailer that went belly-up after pandering to the radical left, is FINALLY facing the consequences! Guess diversity…
Mortgage Rates Plunge to Rock Bottom of the Already Pathetic 2025
Another day, another victory for President Trump! Even the failing CNN has to admit that mortgage rates are dropping. You…
SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)
OMG! 😲 So, the geriatric thrashers, SLAYER, are crawling out of their retirement homes to “celebrate” the 40th anniversary of…
Saipan: Finally, a movie about two lads having a bit of a row
Vertigo Releasing and Wildcard, bless their cotton socks, have unleashed the official poster and a trailer for Saipan. Prepare yourselves…
Witness the Cinematic Chainsaw Symphony: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Docu-Blast on Glorious Blu-Ray
Lightbulb Film Distribution, those purveyors of cinematic… stuff… 💡, have bravely announced that a feature-length snooze-fest 😴 about, allegedly, one…
Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour
So, Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductees (whatever that even means anymore), Grammy Award-nominated (for participation trophies, I assume),…
Geoff Tate Milks ‘Operation: Mindcrime’ for All It’s Worth in Podunk Town No One’s Ever Heard Of, Promises It’s Really, Totally, Absolutely the Last Time (Until Next Year)
Good news, everyone! 🥳 That guy who used to sing for QUEENSRŸCHE (you know, before they got a *real* singer)…
Brooklyn’s Got Jokes, Maybe Good Ones!
Prime-Time Comedy in Brooklyn! 😂 Eastville Comedy Club, 487 Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn, NY! Lineup “coming soon”! Maybe! 🤡 No drink…