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Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump
Elephant Reads CNN

Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Back-to-school shopping? More like back-to-reality shopping! The liberal media wants you to believe that President Trump’s tariffs are ruining your…

Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)
Live, Music News

Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

DEFTONES, the band that peaked in 2000 but refuses to accept it, have announced yet another installment of their vanity…

Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

Okay, so the Pokémon Company, bless their cotton socks, decided to grace us with a Summer Pokémon Presents July 2025,…

“Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” and Other Hilarious Reads: Bestsellers Trump Can’t Cancel
Elephant Reads CNN

“Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” and Other Hilarious Reads: Bestsellers Trump Can’t Cancel

Big ElephantJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again, folks! CNN, the champion of fake news, is desperately trying to link President…

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
Breaking, Music News

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…

Retail Sales Unexpectedly Explode: Prepare for the Apocalypse
Elephant Reads CNN

Retail Sales Unexpectedly Explode: Prepare for the Apocalypse

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

The liberal media at CNN is trying to downplay the roaring Trump economy again! They can’t stand that our GREAT…

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?
Breaking, Games News

GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh, look, another article about GTA VI.🙄 Twelve years, people! TWELVE YEARS we’ve been waiting for Rockstar to grace us…

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST
Live, Music News

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

DEMON HUNTER, those paragons of… something, are bravely embarking on a U.S. tour this late summer/early fall. Prepare yourselves (or…

Diageo’s CEO Quits After Two Years: Guess the Guinness Was Too Much
Elephant Reads CNN

Diageo’s CEO Quits After Two Years: Guess the Guinness Was Too Much

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Diageo CEO Debra Crew steps down, likely because she couldn’t handle the winning! Maybe she should have focused less on…

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)
Breaking, Music News

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Elwood from the prestigious 95 WIIL Rock radio station, BEARTOOTH’s very own Caleb Shomo, in…

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