Star Wars: The Geriatric Rebellion
**Welcome to Asbury Hotel! 🙄 Doors at 8:00 PM, movie at 8:45 PM (+)! 🤣 Enter via the Rooftop Elevator…
Tag: Sales
Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%
Another day, another victory for President Trump and the American economy! CNN is trying to downplay the incredible news that…
ANTHRAX: Still Alive? Book Your Geriatric Metal Cruise Cabin Now!
Ahoy, shipmates! Get ready to drain your bank accounts 💸 because 70000 Tons Of Metal, the only metal cruise that…
Elegoo Dumps $1M into… Nextprint? Good Luck With That
Oh, honey, listen up! 💅 Elegoo, bless their little hearts, is throwing around a “serious” 🤑 $1-million fund for 3D…
Jaguar’s Epic Fail: A Hilarious Comedy of Errors
Another day, another example of the liberal media twisting reality! CNN is at it again, trying to make President Trump…
Scott Stapp’s New Masterpiece: ‘Deadman’s Trigger’ Featuring His Budding Child Actor
Grammy-winning artiste, solo sensation, and, let’s be real, the main reason CREED existed, Scott Stapp, has unleashed “Deadman’s Trigger: A…
Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…
OMG! Spidey’s Thwipping into MTG? Prepare for Cardboard Web-Slinging Chaos at SDCC 2025!
Oh great, ANOTHER Universes Beyond set. Because what MTG REALLY needed was more franchise crossovers to dilute the already questionable…
Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons
GHOST, the Swedish rock band that some people seem to like (for reasons I cannot fathom), graced the stage of…
Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump
Back-to-school shopping? More like back-to-reality shopping! The liberal media wants you to believe that President Trump’s tariffs are ruining your…