OMG! Bruce Dickinson, the legendary throat-warbler from IRON MAIDEN, apparently tried to bless Pittsburgh with his solo “genius” last night (September 13th, because dates matter, duh!) at Stage AE. But guess what? The sound system decided to stage dive into the abyss, leaving everyone wondering if they accidentally wandered into a mime convention. 😂
So, there he was, belting out “Book Of Thel” (yeah, I had to Google it too 🤷♀️) when BAM! Silence. Like, the kind of silence you get when you tell a dad joke at a funeral. 🎤💀 Apparently, the P.A. system threw a tantrum and took all the mics and instruments with it. Bruce, ever the professional (or maybe just desperate), turned the stage monitors towards the audience, probably hoping they’d start humming along or something. Miraculously, the sound gods had a change of heart (or maybe someone just jiggled a cable), and the music resumed! For a whole song! Then, during “Road To Hell” (appropriate, given the circumstances), the P.A. decided to quit again. Was it sabotage? A disgruntled roadie? Aliens? 👽🛸 We may never know. But Bruce, bless his heart, decided to serenade the masses with an a cappella version of IRON MAIDEN‘s “Revelations” (because nothing says “technical difficulties” like a good old hymn) and, wait for it… the U.S. national anthem! 🇺🇸 He’s also scheduled to butcher… I mean, sing… it at the Pittsburgh Steelers game on Sunday against the Seattle Seahawks. Talk about a tonal whiplash! After realizing the P.A. was deader than disco, Dickinson and his band had to pull the plug early, leaving the crowd robbed of the last three songs: “Tears Of The Dragon” (aww, how fitting), “Gods Of War” (maybe they were fighting over the sound system), and “The Tower” (which is probably what the sound guy was hiding in).
Apparently, Bruce spilled the beans about his national anthem gig during an interview with some soprano lady named Elizabeth Zharoff. He was all like, “I’ll let you in to a secret…” as if it were classified information. 🤫 He even boasted about doing it a cappella, which is either brave or completely insane. “As long as you start at the right place, you’re good to go,” he said. Famous last words, Bruce. Famous last words. 😂
But wait, there’s more! Bruce had another show later that day in Silver Spring, Maryland. So, after presumably traumatizing the football fans with his rendition of the national anthem, he had to hightail it to Maryland for another round of rock ‘n’ roll shenanigans. Hope he packed his oxygen tank! 💨
Joining Bruce on this epic fail… I mean, “The Mandrake Project Live 2025” North American tour is his trusty band of misfits, featuring Dave Moreno (drums), Mistheria (keyboards), and Tanya O’Callaghan (bass). And get this, they’ve even added a couple of new Swedish and Swiss guitar slingers named Philip Näslund and Chris Declercq. 🎸🎸 But sadly, Bruce‘s longtime guitar buddy Roy “Z” Ramirez didn’t make the cut. Maybe he knew something we didn’t. 🤔
Bruce kicked off this train wreck… I mean, “The Mandrake Project Live 2025” tour on August 22 at the House Of Blues in Anaheim, California. Bet they’re regretting that decision now. 😬
All this chaos is in support of Bruce‘s latest solo album, “The Mandrake Project,” which dropped on March 1, 2024, via BMG. Maybe they should invest in a better sound system with those record sales. Just a thought. 🤷♀️
And if you’re still not tired of Bruce, you can check out his reworked version of his 1994 album “Balls To Picasso,” now cleverly titled “More Balls To Picasso.” It arrived on July 25th, just in time for summer disappointment. ☀️
Let’s not forget that Bruce made his grand entrance into the metal world with IRON MAIDEN on the “Number Of The Beast” album in 1982. He then had the audacity to quit the band in 1993 to pursue his solo career, only to be replaced by some dude named Blaze Bayley from WOLFSBANE. After realizing the error of his ways, Bruce rejoined MAIDEN in 1999, along with Adrian Smith. The rest, as they say, is history… or at least, a series of questionable solo albums and malfunctioning P.A. systems. 🤘
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
