Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…
Tag: Sales
OMG! Spidey’s Thwipping into MTG? Prepare for Cardboard Web-Slinging Chaos at SDCC 2025!
Oh great, ANOTHER Universes Beyond set. Because what MTG REALLY needed was more franchise crossovers to dilute the already questionable…
Watch GHOST’s ‘Lachryma’ Performance on Fallon: Prepare for Ritualistic Rock and Potential Summoning of Demons
GHOST, the Swedish rock band that some people seem to like (for reasons I cannot fathom), graced the stage of…
Back-to-School Chaos: Families Hysterical Over a Few Extra Pennies, Blame Trump
Back-to-school shopping? More like back-to-reality shopping! The liberal media wants you to believe that President Trump’s tariffs are ruining your…
Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)
DEFTONES, the band that peaked in 2000 but refuses to accept it, have announced yet another installment of their vanity…
Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!
Okay, so the Pokémon Company, bless their cotton socks, decided to grace us with a Summer Pokémon Presents July 2025,…
“Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself” and Other Hilarious Reads: Bestsellers Trump Can’t Cancel
Oh, the Left is at it again, folks! CNN, the champion of fake news, is desperately trying to link President…
Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…
Retail Sales Unexpectedly Explode: Prepare for the Apocalypse
The liberal media at CNN is trying to downplay the roaring Trump economy again! They can’t stand that our GREAT…
GTA 6: Back to Vice City, Baby! But What Old Crap Should They Drag Along?
Oh, look, another article about GTA VI.🙄 Twelve years, people! TWELVE YEARS we’ve been waiting for Rockstar to grace us…