Elegoo Dumps $1M into… Nextprint? Good Luck With That

Oh, honey, listen up! 💅 Elegoo, bless their little hearts, is throwing around a “serious” 🤑 $1-million fund for 3D model creators on their brand-spankin’ new Nexprint platform. 🤣 Yeah, because that’s totally going to solve all the world’s problems. 🙄 #ElegooForPresident #Not

Elegoo, bless their cotton socks for making 3D printers so cheap even *I* can afford one (and I’m broke af 💅), is launching a fund to pay creators for their… *ahem*… “submissions” to the Nexprint platform. 💸 A whole $5 per approved original submission! 🎉 OMG, I can already smell the riches! 🤑 Seriously though, you could probably make more money busking on the street. 🤷‍♀️ #SideHustle #GetThatBag

But wait, there’s more! ✨ If your design is SOOOO amazing and gets “priority exposure” (whatever TF that means), you get an EXTRA $5! 🤯 We’re talking double the money, people! 🤑🤑 And the best part? There’s no limit to how many models you can upload! 🤪 So go ahead, flood the platform with your masterpieces! 🖼️ (Or, you know, that slightly wonky Benchy you printed last week). 🛥️ Plus, there’s a pyramid scheme, I mean, “alliance reward” for recruiting other unsuspecting victims, err, “creators” to Nexprint! 👥 You can earn up to $100 a month! 💯 That’s like, enough for a fancy dinner at McDonald’s. 🍔 #BossBabe #MLMQueen

According to Chris Hong, CEO at Elegoo, this fund is all about “delivering the best user experience” and “showcasing creators’ original ideas.” 🗣️ Oh, honey, please. 🙄 We all know it’s just a desperate attempt to get people to use their platform. 🤳 But hey, at least he said “every design will pay off.” 💰 I guess $5 is technically “paying off.” 💸 #Delulu #GaslightGatekeepGirlboss

So, Nexprint is trying to be different by building a “community” from the ground up. 🏘️ Yeah, good luck with that. 🍀 The internet is already overflowing with 3D model platforms. 🌊 What makes them think they’re so special? ✨ Oh, wait, I know! It’s the promise of… *checks notes*… $5! 💸 #Innovation #GameChanger

The reward pool is “topped up monthly,” and any leftover money will be displayed live on Nexprint.com. 📊 Transparency is key, people! 🔑 The first phase runs from August 9th to 31st on a “first-come, first-served basis.” 🏃‍♀️💨 So, basically, it’s a race to the bottom. 📉 And starting in September, the reward money will reset every month! 🗓️ Fresh start, fresh desperation! 😩 But don’t worry, Elegoo might consider “long-term collaborations” for creators who get traction on the platform. 🤔 So, if you’re lucky, you might get to design a slightly less wonky Benchy for them. 🛥️ #DreamsDoComeTrue #Maybe

Nexprint, launched on August 4th, is an “open-source community” for sharing and downloading 3D models. 🫶 It’s a way to “lower barriers” for creators and make 3D printing less “daunting” for beginners. 👶 Awww, how sweet! 🥰 But let’s be real, the real barrier is the cost of materials and the hours you waste trying to get your printer to actually print something without turning into a spaghetti monster. 🍝 #RealityCheck #3DPrintingIsHard

Elegoo, founded in 2015, is all about “making programming and 3D printing technology more accessible.” 💻 They’ve sold millions of products in over 100 countries! 🌍 And in 2024, their sales revenue was over $220 million! 🤑 Clearly, they have plenty of money to throw at this… *ahem*… “creator fund.” 💸 #HumbleBrag #WeGetItYoureRich

So, if you’re a creator who’s desperate for $5, head over to Nexprint and submit your models! 🤪 It’s a great opportunity to welcome newcomers to the hobby of 3D printing! 🥳 (And by “great opportunity,” I mean you’ll be competing with a million other people for a tiny piece of the pie. 🍰) #GoodLuck #YoullNeedIt

Pixel P. Snarkbyte

Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.

Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.

Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.