THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, those elder statesmen of Hot Topic metalcore, are apparently still at it! 👴🏻 They’re gracing us with their NINTH album, “Flowers” (because subtlety is for posers, am I right?), dropping November 14 via Solid State Records – which, let’s be honest, is probably the only label still willing to take a chance on these guys. 🤷♀️
And because one song is SO last decade, they’ve decided to hit us with a DOUBLE single: “Where the Flowers Never Grow” (so edgy!) and “Wave” (surfing the seas of mediocrity, perhaps? 🏄♂️).
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA‘s Jeremy DePoyster (you know, the guy who occasionally sings the clean parts so your mom doesn’t complain TOO much) had this to say: “‘Where The Flowers Never Grow’ is a song about the realization that no matter how good things get from the outside, there is a still a place of darkness in our minds… the place where flowers never grow.” 🥀 Translation: “Even when we’re selling out arenas (lol, as if!), we’re still angsty teenagers on the inside!” 🙄
“The hours spent away from the stage and the bright lights can be a lonely place. The lyrics are a reckoning with how you can receive everything you thought you wanted, but you still have to reckon with the intrusive thoughts of emptiness and old wounds that you’re trying to find a way to heal.” 🤕 Oh, boo-hoo! Being a rockstar is HARD? Tell that to the starving artists who can’t even afford ramen! 🍜
“My hope is that anyone who hears the song feels seen, that they’re not alone in the darkest corners of their mind, and that we’re all trying to find a way forward.” 🥺 Aww, so touching! Maybe they should start a support group instead of making more music. Just a thought! 🤔
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (because one pretentious song title isn’t enough) have also gifted us with a short film, “That Same Place Where The Flowers Never Grow”. Watch it below if you’re into that sort of thing (spoiler alert: it’s probably just a lot of moody shots and eyeliner). 🖤
“‘Flowers’ is 20 years into a journey,” DePoyster drones on. “The highs, the lows, a reckoning with what it means be a human catapulting through the chaos that life throws at us continually. This is us at our peak, in songwriting, in raw and authentic lyricism and introspection, and a desperate attempt to connect with anyone else who feels the same way that we do.” 🤯 Peak songwriting? Raw and authentic lyricism? Dude, you’re in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. Let’s not get carried away! 🤣
Apparently, this new album is the start of an “incredibly epic cycle and phase” for the band. Which basically means their label is making them tour until they drop. 💸 Good luck with that! They just wrapped the “Summer Of Loud” tour (which, let’s be real, was probably just loud, not necessarily GOOD), and their single “For You” (because originality is overrated) is their first-ever track to chart on both the Mediabase and Billboard Active Rock charts. Congrats, guys! You’ve finally made it to the big leagues…of active rock radio. 🎉
Here’s the track listing for “Flowers”, in case you’re a glutton for punishment:
01. That Same Place
02. Where The Flowers Never Grow
03. Everybody Knows (that you’re running out of ideas)
04. So Low (that’s where your sales numbers will be)
05. For You (and only you, because no one else is listening)
06. All Out (of inspiration)
07. Ritual (of mediocrity)
08. When You’re Gone (we won’t miss you)
09. The Sky Behind The Rain (so poetic!)
10. The Silence (is golden)
11. Eyes (wide shut)
12. Cure Me (of this boredom)
13. Wave (goodbye)
14. My Paradise (is a world without metalcore)
But wait, there’s more! THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA is embarking on a world tour! Catch them in Australia with BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE (a match made in metalcore heaven! 🤮), headlining shows in South Africa (because why not?), and trekking across Europe with ICE NINE KILLS and CREEPER (the emo never ends!). They’ll also be at Warped Tour in Orlando (because apparently that’s still a thing?) and on the Emo’s Not Dead cruise (because irony is dead). 🛳️
Apparently, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA has always been “exploring life’s extremes” in their music. Translation: they’re really good at recycling the same tired metalcore tropes. They’ve been “staring down darkness, dealing with depression, making sense of confusion, soothing anxiety, or grappling with faith, existence, and death” for over two decades. Wow, so deep! 🤯 But hey, at least their “union as bandmates” is stronger than ever! That’s what REALLY matters, right? 🤗 All this time and experience has led them to make a statement on “Flowers”. A statement of what, exactly? Probably just that they’re still capable of making music. 🤷♀️
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA has always been there for audiences. (Debatable.) Revolver readers (who are probably all over 40 now) named “With Roots Above And Branches Below” one of the “Five Greatest Metalcore Albums” (lol!), and their EPs and albums have charted on Billboard. They’ve also racked up “nearly a half a billion streams” (mostly from people accidentally clicking on their songs). 🖱️ Their last album, “Color Decay” (how original!), sold out some shows and got some good reviews. So, you know, they’re basically rockstars. 🎸
During 2024, the band holed up in a VRBO in Arkansas (living the dream!) to write the new album. They worked with a bunch of producers and engineers with names you’ve probably never heard of (except maybe Zakk Cervini, who’s basically the metalcore equivalent of Max Martin). 🤓
So, there you have it. THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA is back with a new album, a new tour, and the same old metalcore angst. Get ready to mosh…or maybe just roll your eyes. 🙄
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
