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Tag: Sales

The Great Global Meltdown: How the World Reacted to Melania’s Cinematic Masterpiece
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Great Global Meltdown: How the World Reacted to Melania’s Cinematic Masterpiece

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Melania Trump Documentary Bombs in Blue Cities While MAGA Strongholds Pack Theaters – CNN Confounded In what can only be…

“Stock Options, RSUs & ESPP: How to Pretend You’re Rich While Waiting for the Bubble to Pop”
Events

“Stock Options, RSUs & ESPP: How to Pretend You’re Rich While Waiting for the Bubble to Pop”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 30, 2026

**Tech Employees, It’s Time to Stop Being Emotional About Your Monopoly Money** Stock options, RSUs, and ESPP are like that…

Behold! The Ultimate Tribute to PAUL DI’ANNO: A Limited-Edition Statue That’ll Make Your Iron Maiden Shrine Complete (Or Just Collect Dust)
Breaking, Music News

Behold! The Ultimate Tribute to PAUL DI’ANNO: A Limited-Edition Statue That’ll Make Your Iron Maiden Shrine Complete (Or Just Collect Dust)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Wow, the rock world is shaking in its platform boots because KnuckleBonz just dropped a limited-edition statue of Paul Di’Anno,…

Events

DOM DOLLA – San Jose Street Party or How to Turn Your Neighborhood Into a Club Without a Permit

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

🚨🚨 SOLD OUT, BUT KEEP DREAMING, LOSERS! 🚨🚨 JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE: https://domdolla.lnk.to/SanJoseWaitlist (because hope is free) FOR RESELL +…

SKID ROW’s Rachel Bolan Unleashes Self-Absorbed Side Hustle ‘Gargoyle Of The Garden State’ This June—Breaking Up Lawn Decor and Eardrums Alike
Breaking, Music News

SKID ROW’s Rachel Bolan Unleashes Self-Absorbed Side Hustle ‘Gargoyle Of The Garden State’ This June—Breaking Up Lawn Decor and Eardrums Alike

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your hairspray cans, folks, because SKID ROW bassist Rachel Bolan just discovered he can do… everything 😱. On…

“London’s Hiring Event: Where Your Resume Gets More Attention Than Your Ex”
Events

“London’s Hiring Event: Where Your Resume Gets More Attention Than Your Ex”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

🚨Attention job seekers!🚨 Join us for a day of corporate stalking! Dress like you’re trying to impress your Tinder date,…

The camera crew gets roasted harder than the Sichuan peppers at Behind The Camera House’s hot pot party
Events

The camera crew gets roasted harder than the Sichuan peppers at Behind The Camera House’s hot pot party

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 26, 2026

Hey, you! Yes, you with the expired ticket! 🎫 Did you miss “Goodside x Behind The Camera House Hot Pot…

Events

1st Position Dance Academy’s 2026 Recital Is All About Shattering Little Dreams (and Ankles)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 25, 2026

🏃💨 Ticket sales for the 1st Position Dance Academy 2026 Recital are over! Guess you’ll be watching from the parking…

MATT SORUM Claims VELVET REVOLVER Was Inches From GUNS N’ ROSES Status: ‘We Just Ran Out of Steam (And Maybe Talent)’
Breaking, Music News

MATT SORUM Claims VELVET REVOLVER Was Inches From GUNS N’ ROSES Status: ‘We Just Ran Out of Steam (And Maybe Talent)’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

In a move that absolutely no one saw coming (except, you know, literally everyone who follows classic rock drama), Matt…

Xavier University Spends Millions on a Party for Being Old While Students Still Pay Off Loans
Events

Xavier University Spends Millions on a Party for Being Old While Students Still Pay Off Loans

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 25, 2026

Event ended: Centennial Celebration for Xavier University — Queen City Style. Sunday, Jan 25 from 2:30 pm to 6:30 pm…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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