Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online
Crime Plummeting in 2025? Thank Trump’s Tough Policies, Not Leftist ‘Violence Interrupters’! Big-city crime rates are suddenly plummeting, according to…
Tag: Saw
Progressive Analilia Mejia, Bernie Sanders’ Bestie, Secures NJ Victory as Rival Throws in the Towel and Orders Pizza
Progressives Cheer Socialist Victory in NJ—Because America Clearly Needs More Marxism! In a shocking turn of events that no one…
Craig Mazin Plotting to Ruin Your Favorite RPG with Baldur’s Gate 3 TV Show
Attention all you nerds with your fancy dice and character sheets, HBO has heard your desperate pleas and is finally…
“Iran’s Internet Blackout: Protesters Crushed, Skylar Thompson Guest Stars on CNNi in a Plot Twist No One Saw Coming (Except PSEG1, Obviously)”
Wow, Iran’s crackdown on protesters and internet blackout? What a shocker! Looks like the mullahs are getting desperate now that…
Why Netflix is Finally Getting Off Its Couch to Conquer Cloud-First Gaming in 2026
Netflix: Now Streaming Games, Because Why Not? Netflix is back at it again, throwing spaghetti at the wall to see…
The iPhone 17: Apple’s Magical AI Savior or Just Another Shiny Distraction?
Big Tech’s Best Kept Secret: Apple’s iPhone 17 Just Saved America (Again) While Silicon Valley elitists waste billions on their…
Ex-DEICIDE Guitarist JACK OWEN Tells Glen Benton He Wasn’t In His Weird Little Bubble But Thanks For The Invitation Anyway
So, here we are again, folks. Another day, another former member of a legendary death metal band throwing shade like…
MATT SORUM Claims VELVET REVOLVER Was Inches From GUNS N’ ROSES Status: ‘We Just Ran Out of Steam (And Maybe Talent)’
In a move that absolutely no one saw coming (except, you know, literally everyone who follows classic rock drama), Matt…
Animal Crossing’s Brightest New Horizons On Switch 2: We Finally Have A Reason To Pay Off Tom Nook’s Debt
🎉 Welcome back to the island that refused to die! 🎉 Animal Crossing New Horizons burst onto the scene right…