Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: sex

IAN WATKINS of LOSERPROPHETS Fame Kicks the Bucket at 48 After a Prison Shanking, RIP Bozo
Breaking, Music News

IAN WATKINS of LOSERPROPHETS Fame Kicks the Bucket at 48 After a Prison Shanking, RIP Bozo

Chord F. DiscordOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Oh, dear! Apparently, according to The Sun (because who else would report this?), former LOSTPROPHETS front”man,” Ian Watkins, has, like,…

CHEAP TRICK Dumps ‘The Riff That Won’t Quit’ (Yeah Right) Single From Forthcoming ‘All Washed Up’ Album (Finally)
Breaking, Music News

CHEAP TRICK Dumps ‘The Riff That Won’t Quit’ (Yeah Right) Single From Forthcoming ‘All Washed Up’ Album (Finally)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Oh, great, more “rock” from the dinosaurs. CHEAP TRICK, those guys who haven’t been relevant since before your grandma was…

Breaking: Geezer Passes Away, Mormon Church in Shambles (Not Really)
Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Geezer Passes Away, Mormon Church in Shambles (Not Really)

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

Another one bites the dust! Russell M. Nelson, head honcho of the Mormon Church, has finally kicked the bucket at…

Niki de Saint Phalle’s Sleeper Hit Gets a 4K Facelift (Finally)
Live

Niki de Saint Phalle’s Sleeper Hit Gets a 4K Facelift (Finally)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 26, 2025

**OMG! 7th House is gracing us with Niki de Saint Phalle’s “A DREAM LONGER THAN THE NIGHT” (aka *Un rêve…

CRO-MAGS Rehire Drummer Just to Fire Him Again Next Week
Breaking, Music News

CRO-MAGS Rehire Drummer Just to Fire Him Again Next Week

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric delinquents, CRO-MAGS, have unearthed a fossil! 🦴 Apparently, Pete Hines, the dude who banged pots and…

SEX PISTOLS (feat. FRANK CARTER): Geriatric Punk Show CANCELED ‘Cause Stevie’s Wrist Went “Bollocks”
Breaking, Music News

SEX PISTOLS (feat. FRANK CARTER): Geriatric Punk Show CANCELED ‘Cause Stevie’s Wrist Went “Bollocks”

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Just when you thought 2025 couldn’t get any more lit 🔥, Frank Carter and those geriatric delinquents from…

SEX PISTOLS’ ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’ Reissue: As If You Didn’t Already Own It
Breaking, Music News

SEX PISTOLS’ ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’ Reissue: As If You Didn’t Already Own It

Chord F. DiscordAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

“Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols”, an album that apparently “rewired” 20 years of rock in under 40…

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Folks, let’s cut the crap. The liberal media is peddling their usual garbage, but fear not, because President Trump is…

Supreme Court Set to Obliterate Landmark Rulings Like Your Grandma’s China Cabinet
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Set to Obliterate Landmark Rulings Like Your Grandma’s China Cabinet

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look at what we have here, folks! The liberal media, still reeling from President Trump’s glorious second…

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 DAVE MUSTAINE, the ginger overlord of MEGADETH, has graced us with his infinite wisdom (or maybe he just…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • Spin of the Day: ProPublica explores the ease of starting a private school, even by unqualified individuals. — 9% Mostly Reality
  • Asian Brands Thriving Off American Guilt
  • Texas Border Wall Hits Snag Because Of Laws And Stuff
  • Nicolas Cage Films Get 4K Steelbook Upgrade
  • Phil Collins Drops 7 Bombshells on Piers Morgan Uncensored

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.