Valorant Masters Toronto 2025: We Predict Who’ll Choke in the Grand Finals
Okay, gamers, gather ’round, because the *real* action at Valorant Masters Toronto 2025 is about to go down (or not,…
Tag: Strike
“Yankee Doodle Dandies GTFO of Iran (Before Trump’s Big Kaboom!)”
Oh, the horror! Americans are fleeing Iran as the conflict with Israel escalates. Who could have possibly seen this coming?…
CNN Reporter Bravely Visits Israeli Hospital (Prepare for Propaganda)
Oh, CNN, always with the theatrics! “Hospital struck!” Cue the dramatic music. But wait, no deaths? And Iran conveniently says…
G7 Summit: Elites Yakking About Money (Like We Care)
CNN reports that the annual G7 summit in Canada will be overshadowed by trade tensions, just days after Israel’s strike…
Sweden’s LIV SIN Announces New Album ‘Close Your Eyes’ (As If You Had a Choice)
Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF METAL! 🤘 The titans of Swedish modern metal (allegedly), LIV SIN, have signed a WORLDWIDE 🌍…
Oops! Did Israel Just Give Trump the Middle Finger? Iran Strike Drama!
Oh, the Deep State shenanigans never end! CNN, still crying over spilled milk, reports that Israel dared to defend itself…
Airbourne Burps Out First “New” Song In Six Years, Still Sounds Like AC/DC
AIRBOURNE, those lovable Aussie larrikins who haven’t had an original thought since 1975, are back with “Gutsy,” their first new…
‘Jaws’ Anniversary: 50 Years of Being Afraid to Pee in the Ocean
**Oh, honey, bless your heart if you thought the ocean was your personal bathtub before 1975. 🙄 Turns out, there…
Peter David, Guy Who Wrote About a Big Green Dude, Kicks the Bucket at Almost 70, No Hulking Out Required
Oh no! 😱 Apparently, some dude named Peter David, a “writer of stuff” (his words, not mine 🙄), shuffled off…
Hegseth’s Huddle of Heroes: War Plans, Wife, and Where’s the Chardonnay?🍹
Defense Secretary Pete “Loose Lips” Hegseth, apparently mistaking the Pentagon for a frat house, reportedly shared juicy deets about Yemen…