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Tag: Tech

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

I Tried Google’s Smart Glasses and Now My Phone Is Just an Overpriced Pocket Brick

Big ElephantDecember 8, 2025December 8, 2025

Big Tech has finally invented the perfect device for people who think walking into traffic while staring at their phones…

AI Data Centers Spark State Cage Fight
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Data Centers Spark State Cage Fight

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

The liberal lunacy continues! Now they’re blaming data centers for high energy costs! You can’t make this stuff up, folks.…

AI Bullshit: Why Your Portfolio is About to Get Skynet-ted
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Bullshit: Why Your Portfolio is About to Get Skynet-ted

Big ElephantNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

Nvidia, the Deep State’s favorite chipmaker, posts “blockbuster” earnings, but the stock dips? Sounds like Soros is shorting it, folks!…

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cargo Ship Throws Fiery Tantrum at Port of Los Angeles, Everyone Freaks Out

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Lib-controlled Port of Los Angeles! You just KNOW this fire on the One…

Robert Plant Accidentally Admits He Listens to Nonesuch Records (We’re Shocked)
Breaking, Music News

Robert Plant Accidentally Admits He Listens to Nonesuch Records (We’re Shocked)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

So, Robert Plant, bless his ever-so-humble heart, popped by Nonesuch Records’ “Nonesuch Selects” video series. You know, the one where…

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen
Breaking, Music News

LAMB OF GOD Drops New Single ‘Parasocial Christ’ – Prepare to Worship Your Screen

Chord F. DiscordNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

LAMB OF GOD, those elder statesmen of metalcore dad-rock, have graced us with “Parasocial Christ,” a three-minute sonic tantrum designed…

Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread
Breaking, Music News

Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread

Chord F. DiscordNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

ULVER, those lovable trolls from Norway 🇳🇴, are gracing us with “Weeping Stone”, a single so profound it’ll make you…

MAGA Meltdown: Civil War Edition
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA Meltdown: Civil War Edition

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot! Even with our glorious leader, President Trump, at the helm for his *second* term,…

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly
Benoit Blanc returns, probably to solve another murder because that's literally all he does. 😴
Breaking, Movie News

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Daniel Craig is BACK (again) as Benoit Blanc in Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery, because apparently, Rian…

Adriana Kugler, Ex-Fed Bigwig, Oopsie-Doopsied Her Way Through Trading Rules, CNN Sniffs Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Adriana Kugler, Ex-Fed Bigwig, Oopsie-Doopsied Her Way Through Trading Rules, CNN Sniffs Out

Big ElephantNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Busted! Crooked Kugler, a Biden appointee, caught red-handed breaking Fed rules with her shady stock trades.…

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Latest posts

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  • Sony Days of Play 2026 Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on PlayStation Stuff Already and Now We’re Going to Take All Your Money with Discounts on PS5 Accessories VR
  • Flooded Laos cave, who cares, not America’s problem anyway
  • LibERAL SNOWFLAKES whine about Trump’s perfectly justified Nespotjustice

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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