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Tag: The Thing

White House forced to tolerate CNN and Politico some more
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House forced to tolerate CNN and Politico some more

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the Trump administration and the media. It seems…

Oh Joy Another Opportunity to Trash Hollywood’s Butchering of Our Favorite Books
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Opportunity to Trash Hollywood’s Butchering of Our Favorite Books

FinnOctober 13, 2026October 18, 2026

Get ready for a hilarious ride, folks! 🎉👏 “The Book Was Better: the Triumphs and Travesties of Book to Film…

Gamers Trade Wheels for Joyrides at Paris Motor Show 2026
Breaking

Gamers Trade Wheels for Joyrides at Paris Motor Show 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 13, 2026October 13, 2026

The Paris Motor Show has once again descended upon us, and with it, a plethora of sleek, shiny new cars…

Robots malfunction, lawyers rub hands together
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Robots malfunction, lawyers rub hands together

Big ElephantOctober 12, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The AI industry is getting ready for its stock market debut,…

Trump Country Suddenly Less Trumpy Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Country Suddenly Less Trumpy Somehow

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest voting trends in Ohio, and folks, it’s looking like Democrats are…

Kalshi Investigates Bets That Somehow Didn’t Bankrupt Everyone
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kalshi Investigates Bets That Somehow Didn’t Bankrupt Everyone

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Apparently, Kalshi is investigating some suspicious trades that correctly predicted Katie…

Jaguar spends 130k on car that still can’t escape traffic
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Jaguar spends 130k on car that still can’t escape traffic

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Jaguar, the luxury car brand, just unveiled its new electric vehicle,…

Elon Musk’s PAC generously shares bad voting info with everyone
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Elon Musk’s PAC generously shares bad voting info with everyone

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it seems that Elon Musk’s super PAC, America PAC, has…

Democrats Bicker With Beshear Over Texas Governor Race Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Bicker With Beshear Over Texas Governor Race Because Why Not

Big ElephantOctober 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear is in a bit of a pickle,…

Ian Hill quits Judas Priest to finally focus on his true passion: being old
Breaking, Music News

Ian Hill quits Judas Priest to finally focus on his true passion: being old

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2026October 9, 2026

Breaking news, folks! 🚨 Ian Hill, the founding bassist of Judas Priest, has announced his retirement from the band, and…

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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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