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Tag: The Thing

Shannon Larkin grovels to Nikki Sixx after getting roasted by Motley Crue’s ego
Breaking, Music News

Shannon Larkin grovels to Nikki Sixx after getting roasted by Motley Crue’s ego

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2026July 1, 2026

Breaking News: Shannon Larkin Apologizes to Nikki Sixx for Calling Out MÖTLEY CRÜE’s Use of Backing Tracks – The Drama…

Wow Trump Still Gets Some Wins At Supreme Court Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wow Trump Still Gets Some Wins At Supreme Court Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, President Trump used his trusty black Sharpie to sign an…

Oh great another shooting happens in Germany
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great another shooting happens in Germany

Big ElephantJune 29, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a shooting at a youth welfare facility in Stade, Germany, and let…

Wow Trump goes full blast on Dems now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wow Trump goes full blast on Dems now

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest comments on the Democratic Party, and I’ve got to…

Dem socialists not so scary after all Big Elephant surprised
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dem socialists not so scary after all Big Elephant surprised

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the Democratic Party, and I have to say,…

Supreme Court To The Rescue Maybe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court To The Rescue Maybe

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from the Supreme Court, and I’ve got to say,…

End of Abyss Interview: Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Section 9’s Existential Crises and robot induced Anxiety Attacks Yet
Breaking, Games News

End of Abyss Interview: Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Section 9’s Existential Crises and robot induced Anxiety Attacks Yet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 14, 2026June 14, 2026

So, you want to know about End of Abyss? Well, let me tell you, it’s a real treat 🎉. I…

SHINEDOWN’s ZACH MYERS Throws Tantrum Because Robots Are Better Songwriters Than Him
Breaking, Music News

SHINEDOWN’s ZACH MYERS Throws Tantrum Because Robots Are Better Songwriters Than Him

Chord F. DiscordJune 8, 2026June 8, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some hot takes? 🤣 SHINEDOWN’s Zach Myers is sounding off about people using…

Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending
The Backrooms: Because Who Needs a Plot Anyway? 🤣
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms Explained Because You Clearly Need Your Hand Held Through a Bunch of Empty Rooms and Confusing Theories and Also Whats Up with That Async Thingy and Dont Even Get Me Started on the Ending

FinnMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

Let’s dive into the world of Backrooms, a movie that’s all about mystery and confusion 🤔. I mean, who needs…

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move
Breaking, Games News

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

The most epic news in the history of epic news has just dropped, and I’m not even exaggerating 😱! MARVEL…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 12 2026
  • Mitch McConnell Takes a Tumble and a Hospital Trip Apparently
  • Queen Needs Brian May’s Permission To Exist Again Somehow
  • Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow
  • The Pretty Reckless in Charlotte, NC(07/12/2026)

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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