Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Tool

CNN Claims Federal Workers Were Forced to Blame Democrats for Shutdown in Out-of-Office Messages, Sources Say They Secretly Loved It
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Claims Federal Workers Were Forced to Blame Democrats for Shutdown in Out-of-Office Messages, Sources Say They Secretly Loved It

Big ElephantOctober 2, 2025October 2, 2025

Folks, can you believe the level of desperation from the Deep State Democrats? They’re so triggered by President Trump’s continued…

U.S. Economy Refuses to Die, World Annoyed
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Economy Refuses to Die, World Annoyed

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Oh, the economy is such a disaster, isn’t it? According to CNN, those socialist commies are whining that people “hate…

Silicon Valley Geriatrics Learn to Use SkyNet
Elephant Reads CNN

Silicon Valley Geriatrics Learn to Use SkyNet

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Oh, great, another bleeding-heart story from CNN about some woke wunderkind! Jacob Shaul, this little genius, is teaching seniors about…

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

TikTok to be operated by Oracle! Finally, the deep state’s hold on our youth is weakening! The libs are seething…

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Paramount+, in its infinite wisdom, is gracing us with a documentary about Ozzy Osbourne, because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough.💩…

SOEN? More Like SO-WHAT? Band Announces Seventh Album, ‘Reliance’ (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

SOEN? More Like SO-WHAT? Band Announces Seventh Album, ‘Reliance’ (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

SOEN, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *progressive metal* (🤣), are gracing us with their seventh studio album, “Reliance”, dropping on…

Gamescom 2025: “Routine”—Yeah, Sure, Another “Survival Horror Classic” In The Making
Breaking, Games News

Gamescom 2025: “Routine”—Yeah, Sure, Another “Survival Horror Classic” In The Making

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 13, 2025September 13, 2025

OMG 😱! After a geological epoch—more than a decade, you peasants!—Routine, the game that’s been more vaporware than actual ware,…

Federal Reserve Official Claims ATL Mansion Is Just a ‘Hobby Home,’ Says It Needs More Throw Pillows
Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Reserve Official Claims ATL Mansion Is Just a ‘Hobby Home,’ Says It Needs More Throw Pillows

Big ElephantSeptember 13, 2025September 13, 2025

Oh, the tangled web these swamp creatures weave! Looks like Lisa Cook, the darling of the radical left and alleged…

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Atlanta News First, purveyors of the finest clickbait, have graced us with a video report on the totally unexpected demise…

Brent Hinds, Who Used To Shred for MASTODON, Now Shredded by Motorcycle
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds, Who Used To Shred for MASTODON, Now Shredded by Motorcycle

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

So, apparently, according to Atlanta News First (who we totally trust, BTW 😉), Brent Hinds, ex-guitarist from that band your…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: DJT blasts Canada over tariffs and statehood demands
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mark Levin claims blue states are sabotaging citizens nationwide
  • Karmelo Anthony Not Getting Do-Over In Murder Case
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.