Kraken: Prepare to be mildly startled by a Scandinavian sea monster flick
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the cinematic masterpiece that is “Kraken”! 🦑🌊 Prepare to have your…
Tag: Triumph
PARADISE LOST Unleashes New Single ‘Tyrants Serenade’ – Prepare for the Melancholy Onslaught from ‘Ascension’ Album (As If You Had a Choice)
PARADISE LOST, those lovable British purveyors of gloom and riffs, have unleashed yet ANOTHER music video for “Tyrants Serenade.” Because,…
Ella McCay: Witness the Hilarious Clusterf*ck Starring Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, and a Whole Damn Comedy Posse
Oh, look, another movie about a woman trying to do it all! 🙄 Because we haven’t seen that, like, a…
‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers
Oh, sweet golfing gods, bow down to the cinematic masterpiece that is Happy Gilmore 2! 🏌️♂️ After a grueling 30-year…
Tariffs: The Goldilocks Zone (or How Trump Might Accidentally Nuke the Economy)
Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re trying to downplay President Trump’s HUGE success with these new trade deals.…
Air Dud: Golden Receiver? More Like Golden Retriever-ing This Tired Franchise From the Dog House
Oh, sweet suffering cinephiles, brace yourselves! 🏀🐕 The cinematic masterpiece that none of us asked for, *Air Bud Returns*, is…
PARADISE LOST Drops New Banger ‘Serpent On The Cross’ from ‘Ascension’ Album (Prepare to be Underwhelmed)
Oh great, more doomy dirges from the geriatric goth squad, PARADISE LOST! 🙄 They’ve just dropped a new “music video”…
Fozzy Barfs Up Another Turd, This Time It’s ‘Fall In Line’
FOZZY, the musical masterpiece 🤩 fronted by wrestling “icon” Chris Jericho and the guitar wizard 🧙♂️ from STUCK MOJO, Rich…
WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)
OMG 😱, the metalcore overlords, WE CAME AS ROMANS, are gracing us with their presence AGAIN! Their new album, dramatically…
Another Genius Idea: Jon M. Chu’s Gonna Wreck ‘Hot Wheels’ in Live-Action
Oh, great. Another cinematic masterpiece in the making. 🙄 Jon M. Chu, the visionary behind such groundbreaking films as… *checks…