PARADISE LOST, those lovable British purveyors of gloom and riffs, have unleashed yet ANOTHER music video for “Tyrants Serenade.” Because, you know, one can never have enough mid-tempo dirges about… tyranny? It’s the third single from their 17th (!!!) album, “Ascension,” which is dropping on September 19 via Nuclear Blast Records. Yes, SEVENTEENTH. At this point, shouldn’t they just be called “Paradise Found… Again”? 🙄 The album, reportedly five years in the making (what were they DOING?), was meticulously crafted by guitarist Gregor Mackintosh and mixed/mastered by Lawrence Mackrory. One can only assume this involved many cups of tea and existential dread. 🍵☕
Nick Holmes, the band’s vocalist (who, let’s be honest, sounds like he’s gargling gravel), has some profound thoughts on the song: “Observing the death of an individual, and subsequently how the transition of seasons evokes fond memories. The God of Malevolence serves as an internal voice to dismantle those cherished memories and reintroduces the initial anguish of loss.” Right. So, basically, it’s about being sad when someone dies. Groundbreaking stuff, Nick. Thanks for the clarification. 🤯
Apparently, this new single is one of their “boldest” to date. Which, in Paradise Lost terms, probably means they used a slightly different shade of grey. It supposedly “melds crunchy riffs and soaring guitar melodies with juxtaposing anthemic clean and harsh vocals.” So, the usual formula, then? Don’t fix what ain’t broken, I guess. The video was directed by Ash Pears, who, judging by his previous work with HOST, BLOODBATH, and KATATONIA, seems to have cornered the market on visually depressing content. Good for him. 👍
To celebrate the release of “Ascension” (because, let’s face it, buying the album isn’t celebration enough), the band will be gracing a few UK locations with their presence for “intimate” signing sessions. And a record release show in Leeds! Get ready to queue up and have them sign your album with a face that looks like they hate every second of it. 😂
“Ascension,” we’re told, is a “testament” to Paradise Lost’s “longevity and relevance.” Because selling two million albums over 35 years is REALLY relevant in today’s music industry. It encompasses their signature styles of gothic, death, and doom, ensuring that long-time fans get exactly what they expect: More of the same. 🤷
The album cover features “The Court Of Death” by George Frederic Watts. Death is on the throne, blah blah blah. It’s supposed to be all deep and meaningful, but it’s just a painting. 🖼️ It’s meant to embody “Ascension”‘s dark, tormented soundscapes. Or maybe it just looks cool on a t-shirt. Who knows? 🤔
Holmes, in a moment of peak pretentiousness, previously stated that “‘Ascension’ is a cavalcade of molten misery, a vigorous sorrow filled stroll through a wicked world of glorious triumph and pitiful tragedy.” Someone get this man a thesaurus and a sense of humor, stat! 😆
Back in June, they gave us a “glimpse” of their “melancholic masterpiece” with the first single, “Silence Like The Grave.” Because nothing says “masterpiece” like a song about… silence. 🤫
Here’s the track listing, in case you’re planning your funeral playlist:
01. Serpent On The Cross (Because nothing says Paradise Lost like religious imagery!)
02. Tyrants Serenade (The song you’re already tired of hearing about!)
03. Salvation (Will this album save us from boredom? Doubtful.)
04. Silence Like The Grave (More silence! Just what we wanted!)
05. Lay A Wreath Upon The World (So metal!)
06. Diluvium (Sounds like a cleaning product.)
07. Savage Days (Were the 90s really that brutal?)
08. Sirens (Is this a cover of the Cher song?)
09. Deceivers (Who could they be referring to?)
10. The Precipice (Of boredom?)
“Ascension” was produced by Gregor Mackintosh. Paradise Lost performed alongside KING DIAMOND and at festivals in Europe. 🤘
Over two million albums sold! 💰 They’ve influenced artists as varied as CRADLE OF FILTH, HIM, GATECREEPER and CHELSEA WOLFE. 🤘 In 2025, the Yorkshire quintet return with their 17th album. Its 10 tracks traverse the multitude of sounds in the band’s arsenal, from full-bore heavy metal to sky-high melody, all the while keeping a minor-key melancholy that remains irresistible. To whom? 👻
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
