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Government Probe Discovers Former Labor Secretary Was Really Relaxed Boss
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Government Probe Discovers Former Labor Secretary Was Really Relaxed Boss

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest shenanigans from former Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer, and let me…

Trump Threatens Trade Tantrum Unless Fed Caves to Demands
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Threatens Trade Tantrum Unless Fed Caves to Demands

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is at it again, threatening to prevent the…

Pendulum – Watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt Totally Not Die in the First 5 Minutes of This Super Original Horror Movie Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Pendulum – Watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt Totally Not Die in the First 5 Minutes of This Super Original Horror Movie Trailer

FinnSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

The most anticipated movie of 2027 is finally here, and by “most anticipated” I mean I just found out about…

Nation Braces for Underwhelming Jobs Report Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Braces for Underwhelming Jobs Report Again

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The August jobs report is due out at 8:30 a.m. ET…

Vance Parrots Trump’s Totally Made-Up $19 Trillion Investment Claim
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Parrots Trump’s Totally Made-Up $19 Trillion Investment Claim

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest from the White House, and I just can’t help but…

Judge Assures Court She’s Not The Lorax Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Assures Court She’s Not The Lorax Somehow

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama surrounding President Trump’s plan to turn a public golf course…

Vance Defines War Down To Avoid Timeline
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Defines War Down To Avoid Timeline

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about Vice President JD Vance’s latest press conference, and I’ve got to…

Missouri Judges Troll Trump With Democracy Thing
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Missouri Judges Troll Trump With Democracy Thing

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Missouri Supreme Court has blocked those new congressional districts backed…

Apple Reboots Every Cliche in Mayday Because Originality is Overrated
Breaking, Movie News

Apple Reboots Every Cliche in Mayday Because Originality is Overrated

FinnSeptember 3, 2026September 3, 2026

The Hollywood Nostalgia Harvest has officially begun, and this year’s crop includes a reimagining of the classic ’80s action movie…

Volkswagen Downsizes to Save Money Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Volkswagen Downsizes to Save Money Somehow

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Volkswagen’s latest plans, and I’ve got to say, it’s a doozy. The…

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