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You Won’t Believe Luigi’s Legal Shenanigans Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe Luigi’s Legal Shenanigans Now

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Luigi Mangione’s legal troubles, and let me tell you, it’s a wild…

Big Deal For Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Big Deal For Luigi Mangione’s Lawyers

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Luigi Mangione case, and I…

What’s America coming to now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

What’s America coming to now

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Welcome to 5 Things PM, folks! I’m sipping on my coffee and enjoying the latest news. It seems like the…

You Won’t Believe Shapiro’s Beef With This Candidate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe Shapiro’s Beef With This Candidate

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro is having a moment, folks, and I’m sipping my coffee, trying to make sense of it…

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened to Hawaii’s Gun Laws
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened to Hawaii’s Gun Laws

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this latest Supreme Court ruling. The Supreme Court…

Because We Needed More Capcom Crossover Cash Grabs
Breaking, Games News

Because We Needed More Capcom Crossover Cash Grabs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

The world of Resident Evil has finally jumped the shark, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Because apparently we haven’t…

Michigan Senator Freaks Over Trump Loyalist
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Senator Freaks Over Trump Loyalist

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Michigan state senator Mallory McMorrow is making some interesting statements about…

You Guys Still Confused About America
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Guys Still Confused About America

Big ElephantJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest Gallup poll, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this…

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened Today Folks
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You Won’t Believe What Just Happened Today Folks

Big ElephantJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one: a massive cannabis stash was found in a cave on an…

Avengers Endgame Now With 100 More Minutes of Tony Stark Looking Sad and Brooding
Breaking, Movie News

Avengers Endgame Now With 100 More Minutes of Tony Stark Looking Sad and Brooding

FinnJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🎉🍿 Marvel is re-releasing Avengers: Endgame in theaters, because you…

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Latest posts

  • Because We Needed Another Apex Legends Crossover Obviously
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  • Because You Clearly Need Another Classic Pop Fix Now
  • Dune Part 3 Trailer Leaks and Fans are Totally Not Freaking Out About the 12 Minute Long Shot of Paul Atreides Looking Moody in the Desert

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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