Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Us

US Government Cartography Skills Still A Work In Progress Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Cartography Skills Still A Work In Progress Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the State Department’s latest blunder, folks. Apparently, they used a map at an…

Knight Rider: Finally a Documentary About a Talking Car Because That’s What the World Was Missing
Breaking, Movie News

Knight Rider: Finally a Documentary About a Talking Car Because That’s What the World Was Missing

FinnJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some serious nostalgia? 🤩 Because we’re about to take a trip down memory lane,…

Feds Strongly Suggest Cops Love Crypto Bill
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Feds Strongly Suggest Cops Love Crypto Bill

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

The Trump administration has been pushing for a new cryptocurrency law, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading about…

Trump Passports Now Available Because You Clearly Want Them
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Passports Now Available Because You Clearly Want Them

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest development with US passports, and I have to say, it’s…

CANDLEMASS somehow still exists and is making more music because you clearly needed that in your life
Breaking, Music News

CANDLEMASS somehow still exists and is making more music because you clearly needed that in your life

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture! 💥 The metal gods have smiled upon us, and a new Candlemass album is in the…

Zoltan Bathory assures stockholders Five Finger Death Punch will keep churning out mediocrity for years to come
Breaking, Music News

Zoltan Bathory assures stockholders Five Finger Death Punch will keep churning out mediocrity for years to come

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some more Five Finger Death Punch? I mean, it’s not like they’ve been…

Mortgage Rates Reach New High Because You Need More Stress
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mortgage Rates Reach New High Because You Need More Stress

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that the war in Iran has been going on…

Sony rescues remnants of your attention with Dying Light 2, other somewhat decent games
Breaking, Games News

Sony rescues remnants of your attention with Dying Light 2, other somewhat decent games

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

PlayStation Plus is at it again, dumping a fresh batch of games into our laps like a benevolent gaming overlord,…

Pubishers FORCE Football Oversaturation onto Your Phone
Breaking

Pubishers FORCE Football Oversaturation onto Your Phone

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Oh joy, another way for EA to suck the last bit of cash from our wallets, and we’re just too…

XBOX earnings brutally debunk Microsoft’s gaming revival fantasy
Breaking, Games News

XBOX earnings brutally debunk Microsoft’s gaming revival fantasy

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

Looks like Microsoft’s Xbox division is having a bit of a rough time, folks. Their latest financial report is out,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 56 Next

Latest posts

  • Shatner Unveils New Spoken Word Album Love And Other Mysteries
  • Charli XCX Stuns At Lollapalooza With Divine Performance
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT blasts Jeanine Pirro over Reflecting Pool vandalism claim
  • Trump’s Reflecting Pool Now Officially More Scandalous Than His Hair
  • Russian Detention Reunion Tour Hits All The Right Emotional Buttons

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}