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Judge Reluctantly Lets Justice Department Off the Hook Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Reluctantly Lets Justice Department Off the Hook Again

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. A federal judge, Amit Mehta, has…

Jerry Cantrell and Kim Thayil bless us with music camp because you clearly need their help
Breaking, Music News

Jerry Cantrell and Kim Thayil bless us with music camp because you clearly need their help

Chord F. DiscordAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

OMG, you guys, the most epic thing just happened! 🤯 Seattle, the city that brought us grunge, flannel, and a…

Brazilian Ambassador’s US Visa Revoked Because Diplomacy Is Overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brazilian Ambassador’s US Visa Revoked Because Diplomacy Is Overrated

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the US and Brazil, and I have to…

Phones Hijack New Releases While Consoles Wait Patiently
Breaking

Phones Hijack New Releases While Consoles Wait Patiently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

In the wild world of mobile gaming, you’re not just a player, you’re a test subject. At least, that’s the…

Nintendo Unveils Fire Emblem Fortune’s Weave Extravaganza
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Unveils Fire Emblem Fortune’s Weave Extravaganza

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

Nintendo just dropped a 20-minute info bomb about the upcoming Fire Emblem: Fortune’s Weave, because what’s a new Fire Emblem…

Miku crashes Magic with overpriced Secret Lair nonsense
Breaking, Games News

Miku crashes Magic with overpriced Secret Lair nonsense

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

Get ready to shell out some cash, folks, because Hatsune Miku is joining the Magic: The Gathering universe with her…

Oh Great Another Exorcist Sequel to Make Us All Possessed with Boredom Boorman and The Devil – Watch the trailer for the documentary about the sequel to The Exorcist that nobody asked for
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Great Another Exorcist Sequel to Make Us All Possessed with Boredom Boorman and The Devil – Watch the trailer for the documentary about the sequel to The Exorcist that nobody asked for

FinnAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

The most epic fail in movie history is getting its own documentary, because who doesn’t love a good trainwreck? 🚂💥…

Bautista may wield Kratos’ Blades in Prime Video’s God of War series reboot
Breaking, Games News

Bautista may wield Kratos’ Blades in Prime Video’s God of War series reboot

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

Because what the world really needed was another recasting debacle, Prime Video and Sony Pictures Television are reportedly looking to…

Hackers Get Free Upgrade Courtesy of AI Technology
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hackers Get Free Upgrade Courtesy of AI Technology

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that cybercriminals are getting more and more clever, using…

Hypocrisy’s North American Tour Axed Because Paperwork Is Hard
Breaking, Music News

Hypocrisy’s North American Tour Axed Because Paperwork Is Hard

Chord F. DiscordAugust 4, 2026August 4, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my black metal t-shirt and I don’t even care because the news is…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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