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10,000 Fluffy Victims Rescued: Prepare to be Guilted by Cute Animal Photos | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

10,000 Fluffy Victims Rescued: Prepare to be Guilted by Cute Animal Photos | CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, this time about some tree-hugging, animal-saving do-gooder. Oh, the humanity! Or should I…

Kraft Heinz Decides to Finally Embrace Its Multiple Personality Disorder
Elephant Reads CNN

Kraft Heinz Decides to Finally Embrace Its Multiple Personality Disorder

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Kraft Heinz, bowing to the woke mob’s demands for “diversity” and “inclusion” in our grocery…

CNN Minus 3: A “Very Special” Summer We Wish We Could Take Back | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Minus 3: A “Very Special” Summer We Wish We Could Take Back | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Folks, CNN10 is at it again, pushing their globalist, socialist agenda to brainwash our kids! Coy, probably a closet liberal,…

OMG! Lady Gaga Channels Her Inner Bat-Eating Rockstar: A Hilarious Tribute to Ozzy in San Fran
Breaking, Music News

OMG! Lady Gaga Channels Her Inner Bat-Eating Rockstar: A Hilarious Tribute to Ozzy in San Fran

Chord F. DiscordJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Pop “superstar” Lady Gaga, bless her heart, decided to “honor” the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, at the grand finale…

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak
Elephant Reads CNN

Beef Prices Skyrocket: Prepare to Sell Your Firstborn for a Steak

Big ElephantJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! First eggs, now beef! Can you believe these socialist policies are making our steaks unaffordable? It’s all…

Bad Bunny’s Puerto Rico Residency: A Political Statement or Just a Really Long Vacation
Elephant Reads CNN

Bad Bunny’s Puerto Rico Residency: A Political Statement or Just a Really Long Vacation

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh, the excitement! Puerto Rico is having a “Bad Bunny mania” because some commie rapper is doing a residency. I’m…

Fruit Loops Stock Skyrockets 50% After Being Bought By Nutella People
Elephant Reads CNN

Fruit Loops Stock Skyrockets 50% After Being Bought By Nutella People

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! First Mars buys Kellanova, now Ferrero is swooping in for WK Kellogg! Is nothing sacred anymore? I…

Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’
Live, Music News

Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

So, BARONESS, bless their cotton socks, just finished a ‘sold-out’ (sure, Jan 🙄) East Coast tour where they played their…

5 Things You ABSOLUTELY MUST Know Today (Or the Liberal Media Will Get You)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You ABSOLUTELY MUST Know Today (Or the Liberal Media Will Get You)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, the Fourth of July, when real Americans celebrate freedom while the libtards plot the downfall of our great nation!…

Waffle House Finally Realizes Eggs Aren’t Made of Gold
Elephant Reads CNN

Waffle House Finally Realizes Eggs Aren’t Made of Gold

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Waffle House, that bastion of American values and greasy goodness, has removed its egg surcharge! Is this because of Trump’s…

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