Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: vegan

Fake news ABC whines about Trump’s FCC crushing liberal broadcast thugs
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news ABC whines about Trump’s FCC crushing liberal broadcast thugs

Big ElephantMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news media is at it again, trying to tear down our great nation and…

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else
Breaking, Music News

MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else

Chord F. DiscordMay 26, 2026May 26, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, LAMB OF GOD guitarist Mark Morton revealed that the band’s latest album, “Into Oblivion”,…

Why Your Game Is a Glorified Slot Machine That’s Hijacking Your Free Will
Breaking, Games News

Why Your Game Is a Glorified Slot Machine That’s Hijacking Your Free Will

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Alright, folks, gather ’round, because we’re about to dive into the magical, maddening world of randomness in games—where logic goes…

Fuze – Watch Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James and Sam Worthington Attempt to Steal a Plot That’s Barely There in the New Heist Thriller Trailer
London: Where Every Bomb is a Party Invitation!
Breaking, Movie News

Fuze – Watch Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Theo James and Sam Worthington Attempt to Steal a Plot That’s Barely There in the New Heist Thriller Trailer

FinnMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

So, picture this: You’re sipping your tea, minding your own business in London when suddenly—BOOM!—well, not actually BOOM, thank God—but…

AS I LAY DYING Has ‘All The Songs Ready’ To Make Your Ears Bleed Again With Next Studio Album
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Has ‘All The Songs Ready’ To Make Your Ears Bleed Again With Next Studio Album

Chord F. DiscordMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

AS I LAY DYING vocalist Tim Lambesis and bassist/clean vocalist Chris Clancy sat down with Egor Erushin earlier this month…

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere
Hold Onto Your Mosh Pits, Nerds: METALLICA Is Coming to Sphere, and Your Bank Account Will Never Recover
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh look, another announcement that’s going to make every metalhead with disposable income hyperventilate. METALLICA, those delightful four horsemen of…

Behold the Mighty Mortal Chris Pratt and His Tiny Sidekick: Live-Action Kratos and Atreus Finally Graced by the Gods of Hollywood
Amazon Reveals God of War Cast, Fans Everywhere Now Praying for Mercy
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Behold the Mighty Mortal Chris Pratt and His Tiny Sidekick: Live-Action Kratos and Atreus Finally Graced by the Gods of Hollywood

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

Well folks, the day we’ve all been dreading is finally here. Amazon has graced us with the first official image…

Live

Dallas Soul Food Festival: Where Collard Greens and Fried Chicken Reign Supreme

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 20, 2026

**THE #1 SOUL FOOD FESTIVAL IN TEXAS IS BACK!** 🍗🥳 Oh, it’s lit, fam! The **Dallas Soul Food Festival** is…

ANGELA GOSSOW DECLARES “NOT ME!” TO ARCH ENEMY REUNION RUMORS, LEAVING FANS AS CONFUSED AS A VEGAN AT A BBQ
ANGELA GOSSOF FINALLY SAYS "NOT IT!" TO ARCH ENEMY COMEBACK RUMORS
Breaking, Music News

ANGELA GOSSOW DECLARES “NOT ME!” TO ARCH ENEMY REUNION RUMORS, LEAVING FANS AS CONFUSED AS A VEGAN AT A BBQ

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Well, well, well—looks like someone’s been playing with fire! 🔥 Angela Gossow, the queen of growls and spreadsheet mastery, has…

Live

Global Culinary Conference 2026: Chefs Unite to Debate Whether Pineapple Belongs on Pizza

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 12, 2026

**2026 Global Culinary Conference** *Hosted by Feed the Soul Foundation, because clearly we all need therapy through food* **📍 Anderson-Clarke…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 5 Next

Latest posts

  • Michigan Dems Mad At Own Party Because Of Course They Are
  • Erik Grönwall reunites 14 people with his new music video
  • Proud Boys Get Free Pass Courtesy of Justice System Again
  • Trump Tries To Delay Housing Bill But Oops It Passed Anyway
  • Trump’s Playbook Now Required Reading For Aspiring Demagogues Everywhere

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}