GWAR Crawls Out of Sewer to Terrorize America Again with SOULFLY and KING PARROT in 2026
🚨 BREAKING: The End Of Days Is Coming (Again), And It’s Touring North America With A Merch Table 🚨 In…
Tag: Wednesday
IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed
BREAKING: Humans Still Obsessed With Superheroes, IMDb Reports (Shocking Absolutely No One) 😱 Oh, joy! The fine folks at IMDb—who…
Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)
So, Keanu Reeves, bless his heart, decided that saving the world as John Wick wasn’t enough. Now he’s back with…
Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…
GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)
OMG! 😱 Did anyone REALLY ask for this? GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, are apparently still touring in 2026.…
Layne Staley’s Diary: Now Good for Something Besides Gathering Dust
OMG! 😱 Did you hear? “This Angry Pen Of Mine: Recovering The Journals Of Layne Staley” – a totally authorized…
Fortnite Next Season: Quentin Tarantino’s Unfinished Symphony of Destruction (Probably With More Dancing)
🤡 Hold onto your hats, folks, because the cinematic masterpiece that is Kill Bill is about to get the Fortnite…
Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…
Epstein Files: Prepare for Disappointment Despite Politicians Pretending to Care
Well, folks, the swamp creatures in Congress *finally* passed a bill to release the Epstein files. You know, the ones…
UNPROCESSED Announces Spring 2026 North American Tour (Get Your Tickets Now Before They Sell Out… Never), BLABBERMOUTH.NET Presale (Because You Have No Friends to Get You a Code)
OMG! 🙄 Those guys from UNPROCESSED – yes, the band you’ve never heard of – are gracing North America with…