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Tag: Woke

CNN Worries Some Dude Might Get a Tummy Ache Because of *Checks Notes* Science
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Worries Some Dude Might Get a Tummy Ache Because of *Checks Notes* Science

Big ElephantDecember 4, 2025December 4, 2025

Oh, no! Not another snowflake worried about a disease that’s practically gone! This John Ellis, bless his delicate heart, is…

New York Lawmakers Triggered, Want to Ban Protests Near Holy Buildings After Mean Pro-Palestinian Demonstration
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New York Lawmakers Triggered, Want to Ban Protests Near Holy Buildings After Mean Pro-Palestinian Demonstration

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes in New York are at it again! Apparently, those oh-so-tolerant liberals can’t handle a little free…

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Cast? More Like “Expedition Who?” Nobody Cares, Says Cox In Mo-Cap Snub
Breaking, Games News

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Cast? More Like “Expedition Who?” Nobody Cares, Says Cox In Mo-Cap Snub

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Charlie Cox, bless his heart, thinks the jiggly dudes in motion capture suits deserve some credit for Clair…

Costco vs Trump: A Warehouse War of Epic Proportions
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Costco vs Trump: A Warehouse War of Epic Proportions

Big ElephantDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s decided to show their true colors! Costco, that bastion of bulk bargains, is now suing…

Sabrina Carpenter Throws Shade at White House for Being Tone-Deaf and Using Her Bop in Cringe Political Ad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sabrina Carpenter Throws Shade at White House for Being Tone-Deaf and Using Her Bop in Cringe Political Ad

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Another day, another snowflake meltdown! The White House, in its infinite wisdom, used some bubblegum pop song in a video…

ICE to Round Up Minnesota’s “Finest” Somalis, Feds Say, LOL
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE to Round Up Minnesota’s “Finest” Somalis, Feds Say, LOL

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News media to undermine President Trump’s efforts to secure our nation! ICE is…

Outward 2: Still Somehow Alive and Kicking (Your Butt)
Breaking, Games News

Outward 2: Still Somehow Alive and Kicking (Your Butt)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Okay, so I begrudgingly loaded up Outward 2, fully expecting to hate every single polygon of its existence. I mean,…

Trump Sends Clown Car to Russia, Demands Ukraine Chill Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Sends Clown Car to Russia, Demands Ukraine Chill Out

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it Again! They are clutching their pearls because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is…

Lawmakers Triggered After Boat Gets Smashed, Want to See the Carnage and Whine About Round Two
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers Triggered After Boat Gets Smashed, Want to See the Carnage and Whine About Round Two

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Another day, another Democrat witch hunt! Now they’re clutching their pearls over Secretary Hegseth taking out the trash in the…

Oops! Alina Habba’s Side Hustle as US Attorney Gets a Big Fat “NOPE” from Appeals Court
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Alina Habba’s Side Hustle as US Attorney Gets a Big Fat “NOPE” from Appeals Court

Big ElephantDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

Folks, can you believe this deep-state garbage? A federal appeals court, probably filled with card-carrying members of the radical left,…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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