Okay, so I begrudgingly loaded up Outward 2, fully expecting to hate every single polygon of its existence. I mean, let’s be real, the first one was… an experience 🥴. My review mysteriously vanished into the void (probably for the best), but hey, a sequel? Color me skeptical 🤨. Maybe, just maybe, they fixed the dumpster fire 🔥 that was the original.
It’s an Alpha, which is code for “everything is broken, don’t blame us,” 🙄 but Outward 2 does feel… bigger. Like, they actually added more than just a new coat of paint! Shocking, I know. But honestly, going in with lower-than-low expectations actually made me appreciate… stuff. Dare I say, even the first game a little bit? 🤫
So, you pick a backstory, snag some Fallout-esque traits (because originality is overrated, right?), and boom, you’re framed for murder 🔪 and kicked out of your village! In the preview at least. I’m sure the other starting locations are totally different… or not 🤷. But hey, at least it’s a better reason to go adventuring than the first game’s “you owe us money” simulator 💰.
Speaking of old-school, Outward 2 is like playing a tabletop RPG designed by someone who hates you 😈. Remember when you died in the first game and woke up somewhere else? Yeah, that’s still a thing.
Like a sadistic DM, Outward 2 loves throwing curveballs ⚾. Maybe you’ll get rescued! Maybe you’ll break your ankle! Either way, it’s gonna be an adventure (of suffering 😭).
Survival is key! You gotta eat, drink, and not pass out from exhaustion. Running too much? Stamina capped! ☠️ Dirty water? Sickness! 🤢 Carrying too much? Prepare to walk like a snail 🐌. They really want you to feel like a helpless peasant.
“What I liked about diving into Outward 2 was how it immediately felt more like a proper RPG experience.”
Even sleep is a strategic nightmare! Do you heal? Do you stay awake for ambushes? 🐺 Every choice is a potential death sentence. This game is all about keeping you paranoid.
It’s like Fallout and Planescape: Torment had a baby, and that baby was raised by wolves 🐺 and forced to eat dirt 💩. But hey, when you actually succeed, it feels… good? 😌 Still, Alpha means they need to steal some ideas from modern game design.
You get a map, but no, you can’t see where you are on it 🗺️. It’s like Dungeons & Dragons, if your DM was a geography teacher failing you on purpose 🍎. You’ll spend half the game lost.
Combat? Oh boy. It’s “better” than the first game, which is like saying getting hit by a bus is better than getting hit by a train 🚌 ➡️ 🚂. It’s still brutally hard and not in a fun way. Our character is supposed to be a wimp, but come on! 🙄
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
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