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Tag: Woke

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic! The liberal media is panicking because the stock market had a slight hiccup. They’re…

PA Gov Has a Meltdown Over Maybe-Possibly-Probably Not Happening Flight Cuts, OMG
Elephant Reads CNN

PA Gov Has a Meltdown Over Maybe-Possibly-Probably Not Happening Flight Cuts, OMG

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh, great, another lib lecturing men on how to be men. As if CNN, the Ministry of Truth for the…

Trump Hands Over NASA to Another Overqualified Billionaire: Prepare for Space Force 2.0
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Hands Over NASA to Another Overqualified Billionaire: Prepare for Space Force 2.0

Big ElephantNovember 5, 2025November 5, 2025

Our Glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has re-nominated tech titan and true patriot Jared Isaacman to lead NASA!…

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Another day, another disaster, folks! This time, a UPS plane conveniently crashes near Louisville. Coincidence? I think NOT! Probably carrying…

Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan: Big Pharma to the Rescue with $149 “Cure” for Your Supersized Self

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Folks, your favorite President, Donald J. Trump, is about to make America great (and thin) again! He’s reportedly hammering out…

5 whole questions about the Michigan Terror Plot Arrests (as if anyone cares)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 whole questions about the Michigan Terror Plot Arrests (as if anyone cares)

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Another day, another foiled terrorist plot, and guess where? Michigan! You know, that state that’s been trying to sneakily turn…

US Still Waiting for Trump’s Bogus Promise to Ditch Colombia as Rubio Throws a Hissy Fit About the Relationship
Elephant Reads CNN

US Still Waiting for Trump’s Bogus Promise to Ditch Colombia as Rubio Throws a Hissy Fit About the Relationship

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Our fearless leader, President Trump, said he’d cut off funds to Colombia, and the Deep…

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another socialist bites the dust! George Banks, a mass murderer who probably voted Democrat, finally kicked the bucket…

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment
Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is wetting its pants over AI in the UAE! More globalist garbage! Microsoft, Google, and NVIDIA –…

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job
Elephant Reads CNN

Goldman CEO Doesn’t Get Why You’re Crying About AI Stealing Your Useless Job

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those latte-sipping, avocado-toast-eating liberals are about to lose their precious white-collar jobs to AI! Finally, some good…

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