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Tag: Woke

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Elephant Reads CNN

‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…

Harvard Prof Thinks Trump’s Smithsonian Shenanigans Are, Like, *Totally* Replacing Facts With Unicorns and Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Prof Thinks Trump’s Smithsonian Shenanigans Are, Like, *Totally* Replacing Facts With Unicorns and Stuff

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Oh, Harvard professor Imani Perry is crying again because President Trump is making the Smithsonian great again! Apparently, showcasing REAL…

Oh, You Like School Shooters? Maybe You Should Marry Them
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh, You Like School Shooters? Maybe You Should Marry Them

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Another day, another leftist lunatic obsessed with violence! Can’t these snowflakes find a hobby that doesn’t involve hurting innocent people?…

Tesla Just Lightly Tossed a Measly Trillion at Elon, No Biggie
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Just Lightly Tossed a Measly Trillion at Elon, No Biggie

Big ElephantSeptember 7, 2025September 7, 2025

Oh, the horror! Tesla, that bastion of American ingenuity, is considering giving Elon Musk, a true visionary and friend of…

Trump, who loves Russia, tells Europe to ditch Russian oil (lol)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump, who loves Russia, tells Europe to ditch Russian oil (lol)

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 5, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! Our great President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, tells Europe to stop…

Anthropic to Cough Up $1.5B to Authors – Guess They Weren’t “Prompt” Enough | CNN Biz
Elephant Reads CNN

Anthropic to Cough Up $1.5B to Authors – Guess They Weren’t “Prompt” Enough | CNN Biz

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh, the irony! These liberal snowflakes are suing an AI company for using their books to train its chatbot! It’s…

Bolivians be like: “This tree? Yeah, it’s basically my therapist and financial advisor rolled into one”
Elephant Reads CNN

Bolivians be like: “This tree? Yeah, it’s basically my therapist and financial advisor rolled into one”

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Oh, great, the Axis of Evil is back together! China’s Xi, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, and Russia’s Putin –…

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Redneck Virgin Lands in NYC: Hilarity Ensues

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Oh, the horror! A Minnesota teen, brainwashed by liberal propaganda in the North Star State, was subjected to the TRUMATIC…

Four Weddings and a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Milking Nuptials for Moolah
Elephant Reads CNN

Four Weddings and a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Milking Nuptials for Moolah

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

Well, well, well, look at these enterprising Americans! It seems even with President Trump leading us to unprecedented economic BOOM,…

Trump’s Genius Plan: Turning Pentagon into ‘Department of War’ – Because ‘Department of Peace’ is for Losers
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan: Turning Pentagon into ‘Department of War’ – Because ‘Department of Peace’ is for Losers

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Our Glorious Leader, President Trump, has done it again! Rebranding the Pentagon as the “Department of War” – because let’s…

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