Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

ICE Raids Hyundai Plant, Finds More Than Just Cars
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Raids Hyundai Plant, Finds More Than Just Cars

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another victory for law and order under President Trump! It seems ICE is finally doing its job and…

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever
Breaking, Movie News

Witness JLaw and RPatz in a Teaser for a Ramsay Flick About Dying or Whatever

FinnSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 MUBI, the platform for people who pretend to understand arthouse cinema, has graced us with a teaser trailer…

White House to airlines: “Sorry ’bout your luck, passengers”
Elephant Reads CNN

White House to airlines: “Sorry ’bout your luck, passengers”

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Another day, another victory for sanity and the American people! Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is dismantling…

“Not Guilty, Huh? DC Suspect Claims He Was Just Watering the Embassy Plants A Little *Too* Aggressively”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Not Guilty, Huh? DC Suspect Claims He Was Just Watering the Embassy Plants A Little *Too* Aggressively”

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Another day, another story of leftist-inspired violence. Elias Rodriguez, some unhinged lunatic, pleaded not guilty to killing two Israeli embassy…

Ivory Tower Insecurity: Universities Triggered by Trump Double Down on Lobbying, Desperately Clinging to Relevance
Elephant Reads CNN

Ivory Tower Insecurity: Universities Triggered by Trump Double Down on Lobbying, Desperately Clinging to Relevance

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Folks, can you believe the swamp these universities are swimming in? President Trump is draining it, one leftist indoctrination center…

DC throws a tantrum, sues Daddy Trump over his toys (National Guard)
Elephant Reads CNN

DC throws a tantrum, sues Daddy Trump over his toys (National Guard)

Big ElephantSeptember 4, 2025September 4, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The radical leftist Attorney General of D.C., Brian Schwalb, is suing our glorious President Trump…

‘Tomb Raider’ TV Series: Sophie Turner Trades Dragons for Tombs, Gets Lost Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

‘Tomb Raider’ TV Series: Sophie Turner Trades Dragons for Tombs, Gets Lost Anyway

FinnSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sophie Turner, aka Sansa Stark, is gonna be Lara Croft? Seriously? 🙄 Is this some kind of late…

Breaking News: FAA Pokes Around After Chicago Plane Does Impromptu Lawn Care
Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking News: FAA Pokes Around After Chicago Plane Does Impromptu Lawn Care

Big ElephantSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Oh, CNN, always finding new ways to undermine our great nation! A private jet “mishap” at Chicago Executive Airport? Don’t…

Google Gets a Slap on the Wrist, Judge Declares Them Slightly Naughty
Elephant Reads CNN

Google Gets a Slap on the Wrist, Judge Declares Them Slightly Naughty

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Another day, another victory for Google and a setback for the Deep State’s attempt to control the internet! The radical…

Anna Wintour Anoints Her Niece to Reign Over Vogue, Because Meritocracy Is So Last Season
Elephant Reads CNN

Anna Wintour Anoints Her Niece to Reign Over Vogue, Because Meritocracy Is So Last Season

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

So, Anna Wintour, that ice queen of the perpetually offended left, is finally stepping down from Vogue. Good riddance! And…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 51 52 53 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • Most Mentally Stable DSBM Listener
  • After Mail-In Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins L.A. Mayor Race With 81 Million Votes
  • Should You Believe All Women? A Handy Flowchart
  • Liberals Give Us Their 10 Most Convincing Arguments For Abortion
  • ‘Obsession’ Director Says He Got Idea For Horror Movie Having Once Met A Woman

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}