Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Fed’s Diversity Dance: A Tango of Progress Interrupted by a Tiny-Handed Tango Twister
Elephant Reads CNN

Fed’s Diversity Dance: A Tango of Progress Interrupted by a Tiny-Handed Tango Twister

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Another day, another victory for the forces of freedom and common sense! It seems President Trump is continuing his quest…

JD Vance’s Profound Prayer Ponderings: A CNN Masterclass in Nuance (or Not)
Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance’s Profound Prayer Ponderings: A CNN Masterclass in Nuance (or Not)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Ah, the Lefties are at it again, folks! They’re whining about “thoughts and prayers” after a school shooting, claiming it’s…

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Folks, let’s cut the crap. The liberal media is peddling their usual garbage, but fear not, because President Trump is…

Trump’s Crime Spree Crackdown: Buy My Midterms or Else
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Crime Spree Crackdown: Buy My Midterms or Else

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

HAHA! Trump Derangement Syndrome is STILL real, folks! CNN is now reporting that President Trump, in his SECOND TERM (thank…

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI
Elephant Reads CNN

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again! Now they’re blaming Artificial Intelligence for teen suicides. Can you believe it? It’s…

Lisa Cook: First Fed Governor to Get the Boot? (Thanks, Prez!) | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Lisa Cook: First Fed Governor to Get the Boot? (Thanks, Prez!) | CNN Business

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has terminated Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook,…

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it
Elephant Reads CNN

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another Democrat governor whining about President Trump wanting to keep Americans safe! JB Pritzker, the rotund ruler of…

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another episode of the radical left crying about President Trump’s genius moves to drain the swamp! Harvard, that…

OMG! Basic People Obsessed with Knock-Off Labubu Dolls—Can Pop Mart Handle the Hype?
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Basic People Obsessed with Knock-Off Labubu Dolls—Can Pop Mart Handle the Hype?

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

More proof the Chinese are trying to brainwash our children with creepy dolls! This “Labubu” nonsense is just another attempt…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 55 56 57 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • China’s Secret Agent Apparently Didn’t Get The Memo
  • Southern Georgia Block Party Apparently Not That Fun This Year
  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. — 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.