Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it
Elephant Reads CNN

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another Democrat governor whining about President Trump wanting to keep Americans safe! JB Pritzker, the rotund ruler of…

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another episode of the radical left crying about President Trump’s genius moves to drain the swamp! Harvard, that…

OMG! Basic People Obsessed with Knock-Off Labubu Dolls—Can Pop Mart Handle the Hype?
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Basic People Obsessed with Knock-Off Labubu Dolls—Can Pop Mart Handle the Hype?

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

More proof the Chinese are trying to brainwash our children with creepy dolls! This “Labubu” nonsense is just another attempt…

911: Still a Joke After All These Years, Apparently | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

911: Still a Joke After All These Years, Apparently | CNN

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, this time about a 911 dispatch error in the swamp they call Washington,…

Drive-in Theaters: From Pandemic Savior to Relic of the Past? CNN Asks the Tough Questions (Spoiler: Who Cares)
Elephant Reads CNN

Drive-in Theaters: From Pandemic Savior to Relic of the Past? CNN Asks the Tough Questions (Spoiler: Who Cares)

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Drive-ins are making a comeback? More like a desperate grasp for relevance in a world that’s moved on! These relics…

House Dems Throw Shade: DOJ’s Epstein File Dump Was Basically Last Week’s News
Elephant Reads CNN

House Dems Throw Shade: DOJ’s Epstein File Dump Was Basically Last Week’s News

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

The Democrats on the House Oversight Committee, still whining about something! They are claiming the DOJ isn’t handing over enough…

Woke Film Club Serves Mimosas with your Dose of Black Guilt
Live

Woke Film Club Serves Mimosas with your Dose of Black Guilt

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 23, 2025

Black Film Club Collective Presents: Matinee + Mimosas at Three Cities Social! 🥂 BYOB (Bring Your Own Bubbly) 🍾 and…

Menendez Bros Still Got That Slammer Swag: Parole Denied LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Menendez Bros Still Got That Slammer Swag: Parole Denied LOL

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2025August 23, 2025

Looks like those Menendez brothers, famous for their *totally* justified actions against their parents, won’t be getting out of the…

Melania’s back to napping: A CNN political analysis
Elephant Reads CNN

Melania’s back to napping: A CNN political analysis

Big ElephantAugust 23, 2025August 23, 2025

Melania Trump, the unsung hero of Trump’s second term, is secretly pulling the strings while those commie news outlets focus…

Army Chopper Does the Unspeakable: Tries to Land (GASP!) Without Asking
Elephant Reads CNN

Army Chopper Does the Unspeakable: Tries to Land (GASP!) Without Asking

Big ElephantAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Another day, another near-disaster thanks to liberal incompetence! Apparently, some Army helicopter, probably piloted by a woke gender studies major,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 55 56 57 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • China’s Economy Hits Snag Due to Iran’s Export Escapades
  • MTV’s 120 Minutes Host Dave Kendall Passes Away Suddenly
  • Alcatraz Claims More Victims Than Latest Prison Break Movie
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 14 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 14 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}