Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Trump tells Schumer to “go to hell,” proving he’s still got it
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump tells Schumer to “go to hell,” proving he’s still got it

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Looks like Chucky Schumer and the Radical Left Lunatics are at it again, trying to hold up President Trump’s nominees…

VA to Veterans: Drop Dead (Before You Drop a Baby)
Elephant Reads CNN

VA to Veterans: Drop Dead (Before You Drop a Baby)

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and common sense! The so-called “Department of Veterans Affairs” (more like the Department…

NYC Trembles: Was That an Earthquake or Just a Really Big Rat? CNN Asks the Important Questions
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Trembles: Was That an Earthquake or Just a Really Big Rat? CNN Asks the Important Questions

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, great, now Mother Earth is a woke leftist, too! A 3.0 magnitude earthquake in New Jersey? I bet Soros…

OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Another day, another “controversy” manufactured by the liberal media! Apparently, Sydney Sweeney, a beautiful and successful actress, dared to model…

Alabama Babysitter’s Brain Farts, Kills Tot With Toasty Car Ride, Cops NOT Lovin’ It
Elephant Reads CNN

Alabama Babysitter’s Brain Farts, Kills Tot With Toasty Car Ride, Cops NOT Lovin’ It

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Another tragedy, folks, and who’s to blame? The liberal, socialist state of Alabama, that’s who! They take kids away from…

Joan “El Gaslighting” Laporta’s Grandiose Gabfest
Elephant Reads CNN

Joan “El Gaslighting” Laporta’s Grandiose Gabfest

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 31, 2025

So, Barcelona, those champions of… last season (yawn), are “touring” Asia? Oh, how touching. Probably spreading their woke ideology and…

High Noon Recalls Seltzer Because Apparently Some People Can’t Tell the Difference Between Vodka and an Energy Drink
Elephant Reads CNN

High Noon Recalls Seltzer Because Apparently Some People Can’t Tell the Difference Between Vodka and an Energy Drink

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? High Noon, probably infiltrated by woke leftists, is recalling their vodka seltzer because some cans…

Trump Slaps Brazil with a Whopping 50% Tariff Because Reasons
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Slaps Brazil with a Whopping 50% Tariff Because Reasons

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! He’s slapping a whopping 50% tariff on Brazil because those commie socialists are…

Kamala Harris: Too Good for California, Governor Gig Not on the Menu, Peasants
Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala Harris: Too Good for California, Governor Gig Not on the Menu, Peasants

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Kamala Harris, fresh from her crushing defeat by our great President Trump, has decided not to run for California governor…

CNN Minus 3: A “Very Special” Summer We Wish We Could Take Back | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Minus 3: A “Very Special” Summer We Wish We Could Take Back | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Folks, CNN10 is at it again, pushing their globalist, socialist agenda to brainwash our kids! Coy, probably a closet liberal,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 61 62 63 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • Jason Newsted gets throat cancer because your nu-metal screams werent loud enough
  • Senators Honor Graham With Bill To Make Russia’s Life Harder
  • Legendary Unveils Godzilla vs Kong Ride Because What’s Left to Ruin
  • China’s Economy Hits Snag Due to Iran’s Export Escapades
  • MTV’s 120 Minutes Host Dave Kendall Passes Away Suddenly

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}