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Tag: Woke

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish
Breaking, Movie News

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

OMG! 🙄 HBO Just Dropped a Hagrid Bomb and the Internet is Officially Imploding! 🔥 Prepare yourselves, Potterheads, because your…

Texas Redistricting Masterplan: White House Plots Hilarious Five-Seat GOP Heist
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Redistricting Masterplan: White House Plots Hilarious Five-Seat GOP Heist

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! CNN, still weeping about 2016 (and 2020!), begrudgingly reports that our glorious leader…

‘Superman’ Cast and Crew Explain Why He Still Matters (As If We Didn’t Know) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Superman’ Cast and Crew Explain Why He Still Matters (As If We Didn’t Know) | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, pushing the “work-life balance” narrative with these two woke comedians! Ilana Glazer and Michelle…

Passenger Jet Turns Into Toaster Oven, But Lands Anyway
Elephant Reads CNN

Passenger Jet Turns Into Toaster Oven, But Lands Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another LIBERAL conspiracy foiled by the vigilance of REAL Americans! Apparently, a Sun Country Airlines flight had a…

Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh great, another Spider-Man movie 🙄. As if we needed more of Tom Holland in spandex, desperately trying to convince…

Rian Johnson Spills the Tea: ‘Knives Out 3’ to Be Even More Extra With “Gothic” Vibes
Breaking, Movie News

Rian Johnson Spills the Tea: ‘Knives Out 3’ to Be Even More Extra With “Gothic” Vibes

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Finally, some good news! Rian Johnson, the guy who RUINED Star Wars (yeah, I said it 😤), says the next…

Venmo to Snitch on Your Side Hustle to the IRS, All Thanks to These New Tax Reporting “Changes”
Elephant Reads CNN

Venmo to Snitch on Your Side Hustle to the IRS, All Thanks to These New Tax Reporting “Changes”

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, twisting President Trump’s brilliant tax reforms into some kind of nefarious plot…

Tesla India Launch: Affordable EVs for the Masses (Just Kidding!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla India Launch: Affordable EVs for the Masses (Just Kidding!)

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Tesla, run by my good friend Elon Musk, is now selling cars in India! Finally, a real American business is…

Supreme Court Okay with Trump Firing Teachers En Masse LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Okay with Trump Firing Teachers En Masse LOL

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has given President Trump the green light to proceed with his plan to…

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters
Elephant Reads CNN

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with their “news.” Now it’s about the NFL getting new headsets from Sony. Probably so the coaches…

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