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Tag: Woke

Passenger Jet Turns Into Toaster Oven, But Lands Anyway
Elephant Reads CNN

Passenger Jet Turns Into Toaster Oven, But Lands Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another LIBERAL conspiracy foiled by the vigilance of REAL Americans! Apparently, a Sun Country Airlines flight had a…

Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh great, another Spider-Man movie 🙄. As if we needed more of Tom Holland in spandex, desperately trying to convince…

Rian Johnson Spills the Tea: ‘Knives Out 3’ to Be Even More Extra With “Gothic” Vibes
Breaking, Movie News

Rian Johnson Spills the Tea: ‘Knives Out 3’ to Be Even More Extra With “Gothic” Vibes

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Finally, some good news! Rian Johnson, the guy who RUINED Star Wars (yeah, I said it 😤), says the next…

Venmo to Snitch on Your Side Hustle to the IRS, All Thanks to These New Tax Reporting “Changes”
Elephant Reads CNN

Venmo to Snitch on Your Side Hustle to the IRS, All Thanks to These New Tax Reporting “Changes”

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, twisting President Trump’s brilliant tax reforms into some kind of nefarious plot…

Tesla India Launch: Affordable EVs for the Masses (Just Kidding!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla India Launch: Affordable EVs for the Masses (Just Kidding!)

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Tesla, run by my good friend Elon Musk, is now selling cars in India! Finally, a real American business is…

Supreme Court Okay with Trump Firing Teachers En Masse LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Okay with Trump Firing Teachers En Masse LOL

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has given President Trump the green light to proceed with his plan to…

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters
Elephant Reads CNN

Sony Replaces NFL Headsets with Toasters

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, CNN, always with their “news.” Now it’s about the NFL getting new headsets from Sony. Probably so the coaches…

AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?
Elephant Reads CNN

AMC’s 50% Discounts: Saving Hollywood or Just Delaying the Inevitable Doom?

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, the poor, struggling movie theaters! Seems like even Hollywood is bowing down to the woke-a-holics, offering discounts just to…

Elmo’s Gone Wild: X Account Spews Hate After Cookie Monster’s Revenge
Elephant Reads CNN

Elmo’s Gone Wild: X Account Spews Hate After Cookie Monster’s Revenge

Big ElephantJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, the depravity! First Grok, now Elmo? What’s next, Big Bird leading an Antifa rally? Clearly, this is the work…

‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Another woke superhero movie “soars” at the box office, according to Fake News CNN. Of course, it does! It’s all…

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