OMG, L7 is STILL a thing? 🤣 Apparently, these geriatric rockers are throwing themselves a “40th Anniversary Bash” because, let’s be real, who else would? It’s like, congrats on not dying of boredom yet? 🎉 The “bash,” or whatever they’re calling it, will take place at the Belasco Theater, probably because no one else would book them. 🏛️
Supposedly, some other bands are joining this fossil fuel frenzy: LUNACHICKS (who?) and CSS (more like C-list amirite?). Who even remembers these bands? Did they dig them up from the 90s?🦕 This is going to be a party for people who peaked in the last century, guaranteed. 👴👵
L7 frontwoman Donita Sparks (yes, she’s still around, bless her heart 💖) is curating this event, which means it’s probably going to be a hot mess of nostalgia and questionable fashion choices. Five bars? Two stages? All ages? Sounds like a recipe for geriatric chaos and teenage angst. 🍻🎤👶
Sparks (still sparking after all these years, I guess 🔥) says, “This will mark the second year of our annual takeover.” Annual takeover? More like annual cry for attention. 😭
“Suzi [Gardner, guitar] and I started the band way back in 1985 withstanding many trials and tribulations, band members, and misogynist rock dinosaurs.” Misogynist rock dinosaurs? Is that supposed to be edgy? Sounds like a rejected lyric from a Nickelback song. 🦖
“Enter our sisters-in-arms LUNACHICKS, whom we haven’t played a show with since 1990, at CBGBs in New York City. This will truly be a momentous event of insanity and rock and roll.” Momentous insanity? More like a moment of silence for the good old days. 🤫
“Adding to this rowdiness are our pals CSS, who will get the electro-fun party going. We go back with those maniacs as well.” Electro-fun? Is that like dial-up internet fun? Slow and painful? 🐌
“I think all three of our bands share a certain sense of humor, political right-on-ness and bombastic energy so look out mellow ones… you will be rocking! Come on out and join our celebration.” Political right-on-ness? Bombastic energy? Translation: we’re going to be loud and obnoxious, but like, in a woke way.🙄
In a December 2024 interview (wow, they’re still giving interviews? 📰), Sparks was asked how she would categorize L7’s sound. She responded, “I think we’ve always been an island.” An island of irrelevance? Sounds about right. 🏝️
“We never called ourselves grunge, but now I don’t care if they call us either a metal band or punk or anything. Whatever — just hashtag us, for crying out loud. Please.” Oh no, please don’t hashtag me. Anything but that!😱
Sparks went on to say that L7 has “always been embraced” by fans of alternative, punk, and metal music. “We’re an anomaly,” she said. “For a chick band, it’s rare.” Chick band? Is this 1950? 🐔
Formed in 1985, L7 went on indefinite hiatus in 2001. Indefinite hiatus = we ran out of ideas and/or people stopped caring. 😴
L7’s first album in 20 years, “Scatter The Rats,” was released in May 2019. Scatter the rats? More like scatter the audience. 🐀
Sparks told the Asbury Park Press that new music was never part of the reunion strategy. “We just got together to do reunion shows, and that just really kind of took off.” Took off like a lead balloon, maybe? 🎈
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
