7 Least-Gay Winter Olympics Events
While the Summer Olympics are often lauded for their impressive displays of elite athletic prowess, the Winter Olympics are…
Month: February 2026
Conservatives Outraged Super Bowl Happening In Foreign City Of Santa Clara
WASHINGTON—Infuriated at the sullying of a cherished American tradition, angry conservatives across the country vented their outrage Friday over…
TrumpRx Unveils $1 Million Citizenship Pill
WASHINGTON—Touting it as the fastest and most convenient way for people from foreign countries to be a part of…
Researchers Confirm That During Childbirth, Women Feel Almost The Same Amount Of Pain A Man Feels When He’s Stuck Walking Behind A Slow Person
U.S. — A study conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) appeared to demonstrate that women experiencing childbirth…
Baldur’s Gate 3: Because Apparently Turning a Game Into a Show Is the Only Way to Make Players Stop Arguing About Romance Options
Oh look, another video game is being adapted into a TV show because apparently we don’t have enough of those…
METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?
Attention all thrashers, headbangers, and general metal misfits! METAL CHURCH is back with “Dead To Rights” — and no, they…
New Study Reveals Videos Of Police Arresting Protesters Are Very, Very Funny
U.S. — Shattering all preconceived notions on the efficacy of public protests, a new study revealed that video footage…
Amazon Unveils February’s Game Features For Luna Service: Because Who Needs Sleep Anyway?
Well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with another round of free games—Amazon Luna, the streaming service that…
Trump Defends Racist Video As Racist
The post Trump Defends Racist Video As Racist appeared first on The Onion. The post Trump Defends Racist Video…
Journalists Shocked To Be Laid Off From Obsolete Media Outlet That Loses $100 Million Annually
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Over 300 “journalists” were reportedly caught totally off guard this week when an obsolete media outlet…