Ahead of the 68th Grammy Awards, the Recording Academy stunned the public by introducing a truly unexpected and, let’s be honest, totally unhinged category.
Set to debut in the Country Music division, the new award is titled: 🪕 “Best Banjo Performance While Throwing an Axe at a Portrait of a Former U.S. President” 🪓
According to Academy representatives at a press conference in Nashville, the goal is to “celebrate authentic Southern folk performance traditions, where music, axes, and unresolved political feelings have always gone hand in hand.”
🎯 The rules are charmingly deranged: contestants must play at least 30 seconds of banjo while simultaneously throwing an axe at a framed portrait of any former U.S. president. A bullseye to the forehead scores extra bourbon. Knocking the frame off the wall? Automatic standing ovation. 🪕
🎤 The first rumored nominees include:
- Wade Butcher with the anthem “Throwin’ Steel for Old Deals”
- Billy & The Cousins, whose viral hit “He Took My Farm, I Took His Face” is already trending on TikTok
- The mysterious outlaw act Dixie Vengeance and their aggressive track “One Banjo, Two Axes, Zero Regrets”
🧨 Leading the judging panel is none other than Roy “Three Fingers” Higgins, a country music legend who famously lost his hand while distilling moonshine during a mandolin solo. “This is the raw soul of country — with sound, edge, and metaphor you can actually get hit by,” he proclaimed live on Redneck FM.
🚀 Online, the reaction is pure chaos:
- TikTok: #BanjoAxeChallenge
- YouTube: “Top 10 Axe Tosses in C Major”
- X (formerly Twitter): “It’s the most American thing since deep-fried freedom.”
🎪 No matter what happens at the ceremony, one thing is certain: in 2026, country music ain’t just about heartbreak and tractors. It’s about chaos, catharsis, and weaponized Americana.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
