Ahoy, metalheads! 🤘 Get ready to drain your bank accounts for the one and only DORO PESCH! 👸 On November 10th, at the illustrious Rock N Roll Ribs (because METAL 🤘 is ALWAYS best served with BBQ 🍖) in Coral Springs, Florida, our beloved Doro is throwing a SUPER intimate, not-at-all-overpriced album release party for her latest masterpiece, “Warriors Of The Sea” 🌊. Prepare to bow down and worship at the altar of German metal! 🇩🇪
Tickets, which probably cost more than your car 🚗, can be found here. Just sell your kidneys 💀, it’ll be worth it for a glimpse of the metal queen.👸
With “Warriors Of The Sea,” Doro fills the gaping void in your pathetic lives while simultaneously launching her “winter” tour season in sunny Florida. ☀️ Because nothing screams “winter” like palm trees and questionable seafood 🦞.
This record has it ALL! For the first time in her *checks notes* 40-year career (👵), Doro is releasing an album as liquid-filled vinyl. Yes, you heard that right! A vinyl record filled with liquid you can actually drink! 🤮 Doro, bless her heart, reveals: “The record is filled with blue curaçao! We first considered Rhine water, but the liqueur is simply better in color and taste!” 🍷 Because nothing says “metal” like a sugary, artificially colored beverage. 🍹Pro tip: Mix it with bleach for that extra *edge*.
“Warriors Of The Sea” is unleashed upon the unsuspecting world by Doro’s own label, Rare Diamonds Production (because every metal queen 👑 needs her own vanity project), distributed by Edel. Besides the strictly limited liquid-filled vinyl version (only 666 copies available, naturally), it’s also available as CD digipak (for the boomers 👴) and picture disc vinyl (for the posers 😎).
The idea for this stroke of genius emerged following two sold-out “Metal Queen Metal Cruises” 🚢 that were a HUGE success with fans in late May and early June. (Translation: We needed more money 💰.) Along with a third cruise scheduled for June 6, 2026 (book now before it sinks! ⚓), these events created demand for MORE music. (Or maybe just more overpriced cocktails 🍹 and seasickness 🤢.)
The album’s title track was written by Doro specifically as an anthem for the cruise and immediately became an absolute fan favorite at summer festivals worldwide. The remaining nine tracks are a carefully curated selection by Doro focusing on “Warriors” and “Cruise” themes. All are rarities perfect for fans, collectors, and metal enthusiasts. (Translation: We found some old B-sides and slapped a “rare” sticker on them.) Side A features rare studio recordings (probably recorded in her basement 🏠), while Side B delivers live tracks recorded during Doro’s past, completely sold-out 2024/2025 tour. (Sold out because we only booked venues that hold 10 people. 🤷♀️)
On March 31, Doro received a lifetime achievement award in her former hometown of Düsseldorf. (Finally! 👏) The award was presented to the singer in a grand, ceremonial setting by Klaus Meine, frontman of the legendary rock band SCORPIONS. (Because who else would present an award to Doro? 🤔)
The award honored Pesch’s groundbreaking career, which began in the 1980s with her band WARLOCK. As one of the first women to break into the male-dominated heavy metal scene, she established herself as a lasting force in the international music industry. (By yelling really loudly 🗣️ and wearing lots of leather 🦺.) With over ten million albums sold (mostly to her mom 👵), and more than 3,500 concerts across 60 countries (mostly in Germany 🇩🇪), the Düsseldorf native is among the most successful female rock musicians of all time. (According to her publicist 🤥.)
Doro’s latest album, “Conqueress – Forever Strong And Proud,” was released in October 2023 via Nuclear Blast. (And promptly forgotten by everyone. 💨)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
