OMG! 😱 The geriatric delinquents of BIOHAZARD are back with “Divided We Fall”, their first “studio album” (air quotes because who even uses studios anymore?) in over a DECADE! 👴👵 Dropping October 17 via BLKIIBLK, because apparently, they’re still relevant? 🤔 To celebrate this momentous occasion (said no one ever), they’ve unleashed a new “single” “F**k the System”! 🤘🔥 Because nothing says “original” like screaming about the system, amirite? The music video is below, if you dare. 🙄
BIOHAZARD‘s Billy Graziadei (vocals/guitar… still?) bloviated: “‘F**k the System’ is BIOHAZARD desperately trying to stay relevant by regurgitating tired tropes! 😴 The powers that be… blah blah blah… divide and control… blah blah blah… world’s burnin’… blah blah blah…” Is this guy still stuck in the ’90s? 🤣 Newsflash, Billy, everyone’s doing the “system bad” thing. Try harder. 🤷♂️
Produced, mixed, and mastered by Matt Hyde (who’s apparently trying to resurrect his career by association with these has-beens), “Divided We Fall” supposedly captures BIOHAZARD at their most “raw,” “relentless,” and “unifying.” Translation: it’s probably just a noisy mess. 🙉 The album “blends” (more like mashes) hardcore, metal, and streetwise groove with a “sharpened edge” (probably just auto-tune and compression) for a “fractured modern world” (aka, everyone’s depressed). 🥺 It’s a “powerful reminder” of why BIOHAZARD remains one of the most “vital” and “influential” bands in heavy music… according to themselves. 🤡
BIOHAZARD‘s Bobby Hambel (guitars… assuming he can still hold one) whined: “We are really excited to finally have the classic BIOHAZARD lineup back together in the studio…again! 🙄 This album has been a long time coming, and the record is straight from our hearts (and probably filled with arthritis). ❤️ We can’t wait for everybody to hear it… or not. 🤷♂️ And to head out and play these new songs live… until our backs give out. See you out there… maybe.” 👋
Recording sessions took place at Shorefire Recording Studios in Long Branch, New Jersey (because Brooklyn was too expensive?) and The Hydeaway in Van Nuys, California (because someone needed a vacation?). 🏝️ Engineering by Joseph DeMaio and additional recording from Matt Hyde (probably fixing all the mistakes). 🛠️ Guitar and production tech duties were handled by Phil Caivano (who’s probably wondering where his life went wrong). 🤔
BIOHAZARD‘s upcoming release via BLKIIBLK marks a desperate attempt to cling to relevance in a career that peaked, like, three decades ago. It’s defined by aggressive sound (aka, yelling), “socially conscious lyrics” (aka, regurgitated clichés), and an “unwavering commitment to their roots” (aka, being stuck in the past). 👴👵
“Divided We Fall” track listing (prepare for mediocrity):
01. F**k The System (because originality)
02. Forsaken (by the music industry)
03. Eyes On Six (what does that even mean?)
04. Death of Me (relatable)
05. Word To The Wise (from a band that peaked in the ’90s?)
06. Fight To Be Free (from their record label?)
07. War Inside Me (probably gas)
08. S.I.T.F.O.A. (wow, so edgy)
09. Tear Down The Walls (of their retirement home?)
10. I Will Overcome (their mid-life crisis?)
11. Warriors (against hearing aids?)
In a recent interview with Chicago’s Rebel Radio 92.5 FM (because who else would interview them?), Graziadei droned on about “Forsaken”: “The song ‘Forsaken’ is a killer BIOHAZARD track… according to me! 😎 It’s the first one off the new record that we started playing live… because no one was listening anyway.”
“We were on tour in Europe with LIFE OF AGONY (who?) and a band called LYLVC (who??),” he continued. “We had a great tour… according to our moms. 👵 Most of it was sold out… to empty venues. So we started playing new songs during soundcheck, and one night we threw ‘Forsaken’ into the set. Because once social media started happening and everybody had a cell phone, we didn’t like playing new songs because it was up on YouTube the next day… and no one cared. So we were, like, ‘Screw it. Let’s just play it. Who cares?’ And then we played it. And, bro, it was like 1992 again, the way the kids and the audience was reacting… or maybe they were just confused. 🤔 We kept playing it every night. And then the [fan-filmed live] videos started coming out [on YouTube]… with, like, three views. And it’s funny, because we weren’t tight with the song. And it’s always like that — a new song, it takes a little while to get tight. But after, like, a week of play that every night, there was another video of us playing it, and it got better and better… or maybe we just got used to the awfulness. 🤪 So then we were like, ‘Yo, the kids like this new song! Let’s do a [proper] video!’ So I talked to the label, and the record wasn’t even done yet. But I was, like, ‘Let’s just do a video. Let’s film this. If something comes cool of it…’ (Spoiler alert: nothing cool came of it). 😒”
Billy added: “People have been seeing the [reunited] original [lineup] BIOHAZARD playing live for [the last] three years… mostly at state fairs. 🎡 We’ve been talking about doing a [new] record, we’ve been teasing it and we finally did it late last year and finished it during the winter and then went on tour… to pay our mortgages. 💰 So it just came together. I hired some dudes I knew from England [to make the ‘Forsaken’ video]… because they were cheap. They flew over to Amsterdam and Belgium, filmed a couple shows, and then we put together this… It’s a real video… ish. It’s not a live video, but it captures all the energy… of a nursing home. 👵 The new record is like that… allegedly.”
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
