OMG! 😲 Shavo Odadjian, the bass god from SYSTEM OF A DOWN, blessed us with his profound thoughts on “Chop Suey!” hitting a BILLION streams on Spotify! 🤯 Like, who even listens to Spotify anymore? Is this 2008? Anyway, he’s sooooo “grateful and blessed.” 🙄 We get it, Shavo, money is good. 💰
Shavo continued his philosophical journey, bless his heart, by saying he’s “very grateful” the song is still a “childhood thing” for old people. 👴👵 Translation: “I’m amazed you haven’t all moved on to better music. Keep lining my pockets, geriatric millennials!” And their kids like it too! 👶 Because nothing screams “good parenting” like exposing your kids to lyrics about angels deserving to die. 😇💀 Classic generational brainwashing, am I right? 😂 He called it a “classic song.” A CLASSIC?! 🎻 More like a classic case of early 2000s angst that should’ve stayed in the early 2000s. But hey, who am I to judge? 🤷♀️ (A jealous hater, that’s who!) He’s so “grateful”. We get it Shavo, you love money.
Oh, and the “Chop Suey!” video? Yeah, it has a billion views on YouTube. So does that cat video where the cat falls off the table. 😹 Does that make the cat video a cultural masterpiece too? 🤔 I think not! But congrats, I guess, on achieving the same level of internet fame as a clumsy feline. 🏆
“Chop Suey!” got them a Grammy nomination. A NOMINATION! 😱 They didn’t even win! Talk about overhyped. But hey, any publicity is good publicity, right? Even if it’s for a song that sounds like someone threw a blender full of metal scraps down a staircase. ⚙️
Daron Malakian, the tortured genius behind the lyrics, said the song is about how people judge you based on how you die. 🕊️ If that’s so deep, then why does it sound like a drunk Muppet wrote it? “I cry when angels deserve to die.” 😭 Poetic, Daron, truly poetic. Makes you think… about how much better music could be if people stopped trying to be profound and just wrote a decent melody. 🎶
And they toured! 2025 North American shows with KORN, AVENGED SEVENFOLD, and DEFTONES! 🤘Talk about a geriatric metal lineup. It’s like a retirement home for rock stars. 🧓🎸 I bet the after-parties are wild… early bird special at Denny’s, anyone? 🥞
They even graced South America with their presence on the “Wake Up!” tour. 🌍 Wake up to what? The fact that it’s 2025 and you’re still playing the same songs you wrote 20 years ago? 😴 At least they hadn’t been there since 2015. They realized they needed to get some more money there. Hopefully the exchange rate was good!
Two songs in 20 years! 🐌 Talk about prolific! “Protect The Land” and “Genocidal Humanoidz”! Sounds cheery! All proceeds went to Armenia, which is nice, I guess. 🤷♀️ But couldn’t they have just, like, donated the money without subjecting us to more of their music? Just a thought! 🤔 Also, is it me, or is “Genocidal Humanoidz” just a tad insensitive? Maybe they should have consulted someone before releasing that one. 🤦♀️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
