Lou Koller FINALLY Admits He’s Not Dying (For Now)
Alright, listen up, ya bunch of whiny internet trolls! Lou Koller, the screechy frontman of those geriatric hardcore legends, SICK…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Disturbed Finds 110,897 People Who Still Own CD Players on “The Sickness” Victory Lap
Alright, metalheads and casual listeners (we see you!), let’s talk about DISTURBED and their groundbreaking, earth-shattering, life-altering (yeah, right) “The…
Donald Trump Is Secretly Writing Bad Reviews About Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Bruce Springsteen, and Bono — And They’re Hilarious!
America has a new crisis. Not the economy. Not climate change. Not even the robots taking our jobs. No —…
Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times
OMG! 😱 You will NOT believe what happened! Former ANTHRAX singers John Bush (you know, the guy who WASN’T Joey…
STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness
Breaking News! Former ICED EARTH throat-warbler Stu Block, the guy who left faster than Jon Schaffer could say “QAnon,” apparently…
Bill Ward’s Back on the Airwaves? Oh, Joy
So, apparently, Bill Ward, yes, THAT Bill Ward, the one who wasn’t quite up to snuff for the “final” Sabbath…
Iron Maiden Demands You Stop Filming Their Concerts With Your Potato Phone (But We All Know You Won’t)
British heavy metal dinosaurs IRON MAIDEN, bless their geriatric hearts, are lumbering back onto the world stage with their “Run…
P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords
OMG! 🙄 Marcos Curiel from P.O.D. (Still a band?!) gave an interview where he basically said they’re musical geniuses who…
Josh Freese’s EXCLUSIVE List of “Top 10 Reasons” Foo Fighters REALLY Fired Him (Spoiler Alert: It Involves Dave Grohl’s Underwear)
Okay, so like, 🙄 Josh Freese, who apparently thought he was hot stuff, 🙄 has graced us with a list…
Within Temptation’s Sharon Promises Yet ANOTHER “New Sound” (We’ve Heard This One Before, Right?)
OMG! 😱 Sharon Den Adel, the elven empress of symphonic cheese, just dropped a BOMBSHELL! 💣 Apparently, WITHIN TEMPTATION, those…