Jacob’s ‘I Love You Almost As Much As I Love Your Sister’ Valentine Card Not A Big Hit With Leah
SUCCOTH — Local patriarch Jacob was reportedly confused this week when his wife, Leah, appeared unimpressed with the Valentine’s…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
ICE Leaves Minneapolis To Focus On American Cities
U.S. — Border Czar Tom Homan announced on Friday that ICE would be withdrawing from Minneapolis in a strategic…
Pitchers And Catchers Report To Spring Training Dance
FORT MYERS, FL—Arriving in their nicest cleats, freshly oiled gloves, and carefully applied eye black in hopes of dazzling…
‘Gunperson’ And 7 Other More Inclusive Terms To Use For Non-Binary Criminals
When reporting on crime, it’s of paramount importance that journalists adhere to a strict code of ethics, which involves…
U.S. Gains Almost No Jobs In 2025
The U.S. economy experienced almost zero job growth in 2025, with the Bureau of Labor Statistics data indicating that…
Trump Orders Drone Strike On Venezuelan Olympic Cross-Country Skier
TESERO — Venezuelan cross-country skier Nicolas Claveau-Laviolette was blown off the course on Thursday in what appeared to be…
Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico
WASHINGTON—Hailing the move as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory, conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA announced Thursday that it was setting up an…
Bible Authors Admit They Were Paid $7K For Every Reference To Israel
HEAVEN — In a shocking revelation that falls in line with a common suspicion online over the last year,…
Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well
The post Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well appeared first on The Onion. The post Pam Bondi Thought…
Kid Rock’s ‘Bawitdaba’ Added To Hymnals
U.S. — Following his inspiring appearance at TPUSA’s All-American Halftime Show and increased popularity among Christian conservatives, musician Kid…