Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out
ANAHEIM, CA — Disappointed hockey fans were issued a full refund for their tickets after zero fights broke out…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Report: CIA Raided By CIA
LANGLEY, VA — Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the…
Tips For Supporting Public Media
The Trump administration has targeted NPR, PBS, and their affiliates. The Onion shares tips for supporting public media. Contact…
Trump: Americans’ Economic Pain Not A Consideration In Iran Negotiations
President Trump, when asked whether the economic hardships felt by Americans would motivate him to reach a deal with…
Keir Starmer Admits He Has No Idea How To Pronounce His Own Name
LONDON — Prime Minister Keir Starmer, amidst calls for his immediate resignation, sheepishly admitted to having no idea how…
Warner Bros Is Desperately Trying to Make You Watch Bugs Bunny Again Because Clearly You Weren’t Traumatized Enough by Elmer Fudd’s Singing
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🎉 Warner Bros. has finally decided to treat the Looney…
Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using IPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Disturbing reports out of the San Francisco County Detention Center revealed that inmates were using…
Trump Unwittingly Breaks Chinese Taboo Against Napping Facedown In Soup Bowl
The post Trump Unwittingly Breaks Chinese Taboo Against Napping Facedown In Soup Bowl appeared first on The Onion. The…
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running
TEMPE, AZ — After taking a look under the hood of the Barton family’s Dodge Caravan, local mechanic Terry…
What To Know About ‘Off Campus’
Off Campus, a TV adaptation of the bestselling hockey romance book series, is now streaming. The Onion shares everything…