Protestant Quarterback Throws Beautiful Hail Christ Alone Pass
SAN DIEGO, CA — A local protestant quarterback in a competitive amateur spring league made waves this week after…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Man’s 47-minute Video Of Son’s Pee Wee Soccer Game Snubbed For Oscar
PHOENIX, AZ — Local dad Ben Grant was disappointed to learn that the 47-minute-long video he took of his…
Britain Ejects Hereditary Nobles From Parliament After 700 Years
The British Parliament voted to end centuries of political tradition by removing hereditary aristocrats from its unelected House of…
Tragedy: Liberal Gets Stabbed Before Finishing Telling People How Peaceful Islam Is
LONDON — Authorities closed off a section of Barking Road in East Ham on Friday following the death of…
U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week
The post U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week appeared first on The Onion. The post…
Oh No: Why Did The Worship Leader Bring An Accordion Onto The Stage?
BREA, CA — Church members were reportedly aghast when, during a routine worship service, the worship leader brought an…
Uber Introduces Women-Only Option Nationwide
Uber launched a feature that allows both women riders and drivers across the U.S. to be exclusively matched with…
To Save Time, CNN Will Now Run Retractions Simultaneously With News Stories
ATLANTA, GA — As part of the channel’s ongoing quest to ensure accurate media reporting, CNN has elected to…
The Onion’s 2026 Oscars Best Picture Guide
The 98th Academy Awards will take place March 15 at the Dolby Theater. The Onion examines the 10 contenders…
Jew Converts To Christianity After Internet Commenter Says, ‘Christ Is King, You Filthy Money-Grubbing Jew’
NEW YORK, NY — Heaven rejoiced today after a Jewish man accepted Jesus and converted to Christianity. Sources confirmed…