To Save Time, CNN Will Now Run Retractions Simultaneously With News Stories
ATLANTA, GA — As part of the channel’s ongoing quest to ensure accurate media reporting, CNN has elected to…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
The Onion’s 2026 Oscars Best Picture Guide
The 98th Academy Awards will take place March 15 at the Dolby Theater. The Onion examines the 10 contenders…
Jew Converts To Christianity After Internet Commenter Says, ‘Christ Is King, You Filthy Money-Grubbing Jew’
NEW YORK, NY — Heaven rejoiced today after a Jewish man accepted Jesus and converted to Christianity. Sources confirmed…
Trump, Mitch McConnell Clash In Oval Office Over Where They Are
WASHINGTON—In a heated exchange that laid bare a growing schism at the highest levels of Republican leadership, President Donald…
Morbidly Obese Pete Hegseth Denies Any Knowledge Of What Happened To Leftover Lobster For The Troops
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An uncharacteristically rotund Pete Hegseth held a press conference to deny having any knowledge of what…
‘KPop Demon Hunters’ Sequel: Original Directors Return to Slay More Demons with KPop Beats, Fans Rejoice (or Not)
Well, well, well, look who’s back to ruin another evening with their perfectly choreographed demon-slaying shenanigans. That’s right, KPop Demon…
‘Lanterns’ Aaron Pierre Joins ‘Superman’ Sequel: Because Even Superheroes Need More Light in Their Lives
It looks like the DC Universe just couldn’t resist the urge to play matchmaker with its cosmic cops. Aaron Pierre,…
Kate Hudson Under Fire For Doing Wisconsinface In ‘Song Sung Blue’
MILWAUKEE—Accusing the actress of a grotesque act that showed profound insensitivity, Kate Hudson found herself under fire Thursday for…
Democrats Expel Fetterman After Repeated Warnings To Stop Supporting America
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Democrats voted to expel Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman on Thursday after their repeated warnings for…
Man Hires Oscars Orchestra To Play ‘Wrap It Up’ Music When Wife’s Stories Go Too Long
MILWAUKEE, WI — Local man Ed Clayfield reportedly saved himself an extended period of suffering by hiring members of…