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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” is Actually a Declaration of War Against Windmills, Says Guy Who Hugs Trees
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” is Actually a Declaration of War Against Windmills, Says Guy Who Hugs Trees

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, no! Not another CNN hit piece! Apparently, President Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” (probably named by Melania, classy as always)…

CIA’s Hot Take: Blames Everyone But Themselves for 2016’s Oopsie
Elephant Reads CNN

CIA’s Hot Take: Blames Everyone But Themselves for 2016’s Oopsie

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

More proof the Deep State and the Dems tried to steal the 2016 election from our glorious President Trump! A…

CBS News Staffers Triggered After Trump Settlement: What Fresh Hell Awaits
Elephant Reads CNN

CBS News Staffers Triggered After Trump Settlement: What Fresh Hell Awaits

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! It seems Paramount Global, those pathetic purveyors of leftist propaganda, have finally learned…

5 Things You ABSOLUTELY MUST Know Today (Or the Liberal Media Will Get You)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You ABSOLUTELY MUST Know Today (Or the Liberal Media Will Get You)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, the Fourth of July, when real Americans celebrate freedom while the libtards plot the downfall of our great nation!…

Trump’s Trade Deal: Now You Get to Pay the Price, Sucker
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Trade Deal: Now You Get to Pay the Price, Sucker

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls over President Trump’s brilliant trade deal with Vietnam. Apparently,…

Four-Day Workweek: Because Apparently, Three Days of Doing Nothing Wasn’t Enough
Elephant Reads CNN

Four-Day Workweek: Because Apparently, Three Days of Doing Nothing Wasn’t Enough

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN is pushing for a four-day work week in the UK, claiming…

Trump Declares Vietnam the Ultimate Trade Bro: CNN Business Reports
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Declares Vietnam the Ultimate Trade Bro: CNN Business Reports

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another win for President Trump! CNN is reluctantly reporting that our glorious leader has just brokered a fantastic…

Trump’s Labor Market: Making America Great Again or Just Greatly Confused
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Labor Market: Making America Great Again or Just Greatly Confused

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re trying to make President Trump’s booming economy look bad. Sad! CNN is…

Wisconsin Supreme Court Justices Accidentally Legalize Abortion After Forgetting What Century It Is
Elephant Reads CNN

Wisconsin Supreme Court Justices Accidentally Legalize Abortion After Forgetting What Century It Is

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

The Wisconsin Supreme Court, now thoroughly infested with radical leftist judges, has decided that a law from 1849 is just…

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad
Elephant Reads CNN

20 states throw hissy fit after Trump admin yeets Medicaid data to deportation squad

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

The Socialist States of Kalifornia, Ill-Annoy, and Commie DC are at it again, whining about President Trump daring to enforce…

Posts pagination

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Most Viewed Posts

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Latest posts

  • Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before
  • Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” Barely Squeaks Through the House (Sad!)
  • Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN
  • Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business
  • “ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN

Archives

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  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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